TIGER TAILS

For the sake of full disclosure let me start by stating that i am not a big fan of Tiger Woods. I never have been. I have been awe struck and fascinated at his incredible ability. I have watched dumbfounded at some of the shots he has made and the events he has won. But i never was a, ''Fan''. I didn't dislike him i just found him hard to like. I preferred to cheer on the underdogs and the guys you just wanted to do well but so often let us down on the course. I have also been the perpetrator of infidelity. I have cheated. That having been said, here is my 1 cent on the whole TIGER DRAMA.

Is what Tiger did a Bad thing? NO doubt about it. Is it self destructive? Yes it is. Does it cause unmeasurable collateral damage? Bigger then an ''A'' Bomb. Should he be ashamed of his conduct? Absolutely! Is it anyone's business what he did, (or ''who'' for what matter) or how he conducts his off the links life? NOT A CHANCE!!! Oh yes before you start pounding your PC keys with the regular '' he is a role model'', ''he has an obligation to his fans'', ''he is a public figure''. Just hold your fingers up in the air for a few seconds and contemplate the following;

Have you ever made a mistake? Done things your not particularly proud of nor want to share with even your closest friends and family? Do you have skeleton's in your closet? The answer to those questions is 100% YES. If you said NO your either delusional, a liar or the most boring person on the face of the earth. There in lies the issue. This story is not about his golf, his conduct in the field of play, his contribution to numerous charities, his community participation or anything to do about the athlete. Its about his life, a life not private simply due to the profession he chooses. The profession he has become the face of. A blogger at yahoo sport wrote in part this, ''But that just-golf-it mindset doesn't account for the fact that Woods is not "just a golfer," he's the public face of an entire corporation. What he does on his own time is not his own business, not when his actions can do financial harm to those who have invested hundreds of millions in his image. That financial impact, not the "more mistresses or more majors?" question, is the real story here''. BUT IN FACT THAT IS NOT THE REAL STORY HERE. That is how you fuel the fire but more importantly how you fuel the justification to continue to make an issue of someones private live and conduct.

What is currently going on in Woods and his families life isn't a game, its not a highlight reel. It's not to be dissected on Sports Centre or the sports sections of your favorite newspaper. What it is, is numerous peoples lives being dramatically changed forever. Tiger is as much responsible for his image as those in the media and the corporate sponsors who lined up to make him the face of THE TOUR, THE SPONSORS and the GAME. The talking heads and the media lapped up his every move, his every historical shot, his superhuman ability like dying men in a desert who just found water. It was ugly. The groping (used for effect here) over him was rather perverse. So before anyone claims that he alone claimed the title as, ''the face of Golf'' needs to know they are as much responsible for him being the face of golf as Tiger himself. Yet now as the face gets less attractive comes the holier then thou, ''we are good and you are bad'' shame on you Tiger, attacks at which the media is so well versed. The shark frenzy for blood and guts, sensationalism and pure absurdity.

Tiger Woods is and was the face of golf because everyone made him that. The haters as well as the die hard fans. I never saw Tiger contribute in any way to his fame off the course other then by simply being who he was on the golf course. It was his play, his ability to out smart his opponents, his ability to stay upright while those around him crumbled to their knees. His ability to make the shots that mortal men and golf pro's alike could only dream of. Tiger was often criticized for not being friendly enough, for being dull and monotone during interviews, for not opening up about his life, for coming across as condescending, for not being more personable. Yet you couldn't attack his game. Oh yes over the short 13 years he has dominated golf we have heard the talking heads in the booth with a micro phone tell us what is wrong with his swing, every broadcaster, ex pro or guy who once held a club had advice for Tiger and his game. They knew what he needed to fix and why. They spewed crap at an industrial rate and all the while Tiger went on winning. As he did, The Tour, The Players, The Sponsors, The Fans, and The Media went on riding the coat tails of his greatness.

Since this escapade has broken I have listened to fellow players take stabs at Woods now that he is down. Where they could not beat him or surpass him on the links they now try into the microphone and become simply another voice amongst the talking heads. I have listened to them deny or downplay his importance to the sport. I have wanted to vomit from second class players who rode the same coat tails as the sponsors, broadcast corporations and the media to record setting amounts of money. There is something very wrong with listening to a bunch of millionaires attack the one person who allowed them to become what they are today. You get to see the true spirit of a man when asked to comment on the life of another. You see their true colors at that moment. You see their insight into themselves and how each of them has or has not accepted that this moment in golf history is not about taking down a man but helping to rise him up. So many of them have failed. John Daly perhaps the most unlikely character given his own challenges said, "I'm not happy with the way some of our players have responded. I think that's their way of getting back, because they know they can't beat him at golf''. "I pray and hope they both get through it and if they ever need anything from me, both of them, I'll be happy to talk to them because I love them both. "He said he had tried to contact the fallen superstar. "I feel like if there's anybody in this world -- after what I've gone through, the ups and downs -- I might give him some advice," Daly said. "They always say there is nobody bigger than the game of golf, but right now in these times there is, and it's him." He seems to be one of the few players who has remotely a clue.

I have listened to the sponsors as they withdraw their support and how they candy coat their own tainted images at the expense of Tigers. It is sickening and distasteful and it smells bad. I believe that the true demonstration of greatness of an organization is not how it capitalizes on something that is good for it, but how it handles what might potentially be bad for it. How it recognizes and resists the pressure from the zealots. How it stands behind something that needs fixing. That is the true demonstration of a company i want to do business with. Not one that decides to abandon its face simply because it doesn't like the view in the mirror. When the new television deal is negotiated and new calls for sponsorship dollars are made by a Tour without Tiger we'll see just how much class these corporations really have. Don't hold your breath!

There is a true sadness to this story. It is about a woman, two children and countless other family members dramatically affected by a man's conduct. A family that in many ways will never ever be the same regardless of how Woods and his wife decide to proceed. This event, this indiscretion will forever be part of their fabric. The fact is they will move on from this, with dedication and commitment they can raise their children well and live good lives. You would think however by reading some aspects of the story as told by the talking heads that he had murdered people. No in effect he did not. He did what millions (notice i said millions not a few thousand) men have done in their lives. Cheat on there wife. It is shameful, and to underestimate its impact is to dismiss it out of hand as nothing more then men being men. That is a piss poor excuse. It shouldn't be downplayed or diminished it is what it is. A tragedy for all those involved. You get the sense however that this story has become far to great for the scope of the transgression. That there is some type of pornographic fascination with seeing him fall.

Someone once said, ''In the absence of truth their is only perception and perception becomes reality''. Let me ask a tough question though. Where are all the challenges to these women with whom Tiger cheated? Where is the criticism of them and their conduct, their characters? Where are the attacks? Is it a double standard?No..no..no lets not question them or their morals for sleeping with a married man. Lets not challenge them about who they are and how they conduct their lives. After all they are the victims here. Right? EXCUSE ME! There is one victim here and her name is Elin Nordegren. These other woman who took when the taking was good, who closed their eyes because the benefits (wink wink) far out weighed integrity, honesty, honor or respect. So now they come out and discuss the sordid details and share the intimacies, Its time for the truth now! WHAT? They go one TV with a rabid media only for the money because Mr. Woods wallet has dried up. The ''call girl agencies'' come forward now only because the attention and publicity can in some way replace the 25 to 60K he was rumored to have spent with them on any given weekend. It shows the level of integrity of these people and the agencies who took his dollars, protected his identity when things were good but immediately begin searching for new dollars by selling their stories now that he has gone. The disgusting part is we the public eat it up and ask no questions let alone the hard ones. These women, these agencies, are at every level and should be at every level, held equally responsible as Mr. Woods himself. Woods doesn't nor should he get a pass. Nor should these women.

The so called experts, those who have never met the man or his wife claim to know what is going on. What went on in their relationship. The talking heads tell you about how Tiger is a sex addict, how his wife should or should not leave him. About how his image is being affected. They talk about him as if they truly know the man. Those same talking heads tell us that he should come forward. That he should spill the story, the whole story. He should do that why? To appease our appetites for the little tidbits of their private life. To make us feel in the know, for damage control? I think the damage has been done and it truly matters not what else we could possibly find out. Its like saying the ship is sinking after being hit by a torpedo. It doesn't bloody well matter if the torpedo had lipstick on it and was dressed as a goat or whether 9 torpedo's hit. The ship is Frigging sinking people...AND THATS THAT!

There is a part of me that hopes that Woods goes away for 5 years. Sits on the sidelines as the Tour rallies and flounders to find the ''NEW FACE'' only to find that there was only ''ONE''. Sits by as TV ratings fall off, sponsorship dollars dry up. While the same pro's that attacked him stammer to explain the dropping attendance, rating and purses. Then i hope he returns with a belly like Craig Stadler, an Afro from the 1970's, wearing pants like John Daly is currently sporting; with a ting in his speech reminiscent of ''Huggy Bear'' from Starsky and Hutch and a stunning blonde Swede on his arm looking as beautiful as she does now. I hope he then dominates the field, destroys it and takes golf to new heights. I hope he then Beats Jack's major wins record and on that day steps up to the micro phone, looks out at the fans, the media, the Tour officials, the sponsors; shakes his head and simply says............NOTHING and walks away for good this time. Its what we all deserve for our double standards!

Robbie Hellstrom

* THE INEVITABILITY OF ACCEPTANCE

Well friends i never like to be the one who says i told you so but i told you so. As the pain drags on those of you clinging to some glimmer of hope might as well take some Prozac and call me in late September. The simple fact is this team cannot play. Cannot play as a team and cannot play to the level of what playoff hockey demands. Yes yes i know were die-hard Habs fans and the pessimism is not welcome. There is a point however where reality needs to set in and its not at the end of the 5 games this series will last.

Last night was a prime example of how even when this team is provided with the slightest opportunity to send a message they pack their bags and go home. With less then 5 minutes remaining we have a 5 on 4 and we mustered how many shots? 2 yeah 2. There was no way this game was going to go anywhere regardless with just 5 left. However the Habs had a golden opportunity to dominate the last 5 minutes and at the very least score 1 if not 2 goals . What would this have accomplished? Well not much but something and when your being dominated something is better then nothing. There is also the aggression factor, while I'm all for the nonsense of sending Kovi and Koivu out with BJL there comes a time where hands are more valuable when hitting skin then they are on a stick. After pissy pants Milan Lucic decided to try and decapitate Lappy it was certainly a time if ever there was one for BJL to bite someones ear off. What did the genius of Gainey do? NOTHING. If were going to lose this series can we atleast do it it some kind of style, i know we don't have much class but a little style people is that to much to ask.

5 THINGS HEARD IN THE HABS DRESSING ROOM AFTER GAME 2

1. I though Komisarek poked Matt Hunwick’s eye out. Not his spleen.! If Komisarek ever gets traded I'm staying away from him he's like a voodo doctor.

2. Who is our enforcer again?

3. Do we actually have any Russians playing for us other then Kovi?

4. Where are you golfing this year?

5. Does anyone have that number for that truck driving school?

Game 3 Monday and more of the same!

Robbie

* ITS TROUBLE TIME

If you took anything good out of last nights game it should be simply that the Canadiens played about the best possible hockey they are capable of. The sad part is that simply meant not getting blown out by the Bruins. The harsh reality of it all is if the Canadiens couldn't beat the Bruins last night don't look for them to do much better in the coming games.

The Bruins mounted very little in the form of offense and the canadiens defence played beyond itself in holding the Bruins. Goaltending was OK from $Sign$ (Price) but nothing in the way of spectacular. My feeling is his confidence has been so shaken by all the on and off ice nonsense that there is no way he is going to steal the games the Canadiens would desperately need him to steal if they were to make a serious run at this series. We have one high performing (that depends on which night) line and the other lines cannot and will not produce anything in the way of support. The Lapierre line which has been the hardest working and most effective does not have the ability nor does it play the role of offensive output.

Look for the Bruins to be way looser and you can be sure Julien had a little talk with his boys after game 1. You'll see a slightly different Bruins team on Saturday night and the old work horses of the Canadiens will quickly run out of steam. All for not still looks like the Bruins in 5.

Robbie

WHO DA THUNK IT!

ANGEL AT AUGUSTA

Angel Cabrera who? Well unless your really a big golf fan or you remember back to the 2007 US Open then yes your surprised as anyone. He showed by simply playing consistent and by hanging around that anything is possible on the back nine at Augusta. How about that Tiger and lefty pairing? The once dreamed of pairing that everyone hoped would turn into the greatest rivalry in golf but simply never transpired. It sure was fun watching '' the what might have been'', but as usual Lefty just can't seem to take a gimme when its handed to him. Tiger showed he is regardless of his 9 month absence still the force and he will continue to have to be dealt with.

PLAYOFFS SET

Well the 2009 Playoffs will get underway in a few days and here are my predicitions for round 1.








Bruins in 5
Washington in 6
Devils in 6
Flyers in 7

Upsets; Perhaps the Flyers could be considered an upset

San Jose in 6
Detroit in 5
Chicago in 6
Blues in 7

Upsets; Blues taking it

WHATS UP WITH THE BIRDS

The Jays are off to one of their best starts ever, sorry to burst your bubble but don't look for it to last. The Angels paid a moving tribute to their fallen pitcher and then on Sunday wanted to perhaps take out a little of that anger by mixing it up at home plate with the Soxs. 4 Angels ejected from the game. Must be hard playing with that cloud of sadness and anger.

US WOMEN GOLDEN AGAIN

The United States won its second consecutive World Women’s Championship gold medal and its third in the nation’s history after defeating rival Canada, 4-1. Catilin Cahow scored twice in the golden win. The Canadians women's team will need to start concentrating on the tighter competition as it heads to Vancouver in 2010.

Robbie

HABS IN; DOOMED REGARDLESS!

DREAM ON

This is as close as you'll get to seeing this hardware anytime soon. Yes there was almost a parade on St Catherine St. Last night. The Habs clinched a playoff birth by securing a point against the Bruins. Unfortunately for all the dreamers out there this will simply prolong the fantasy of a real parade come June. This team in its infinite wisdom and poor planning and management has ensured that the only sport after the end of April will be Golf. Dream on though we have the whole spring and summer to be entertained by how the sale and eventual restructuring (players) will go.

HOLY ON FIRE CAMPBELL

Chad Campbell takes the lead into second round after the best start in Masters history. He birdied the first five holes Thursday on his way to a 65. Don't look for him to repeat the success and look for a surge from some of the younger players i mentioned in an earlier blog. The green grass and flowers and everything that is Augusta sure got me thinking about summer though...ha it was snowing here yesterday and the low last night was minus 7.

TRAGIC LOSS

Hours after pitching his best game yet in the major leagues, Los Angeles Angels rookie Nick Adenhart was killed by a suspected drunk driver, leaving his teammates and fans stunned he won’t be around to fulfill the promise he had shown.

Adenhart’s father, Jim, a retired Secret Service agent, walked onto the field in the empty stadium Thursday and spent several moments alone on the pitcher’s mound. Wearing a red sweatshirt in the team’s color, he briefly covered his eyes with one hand.

Events like this show us all that sports is what it is SPORTS...life unfortunately is much bigger then it!

Robbie

10 IDIOTS & LAST CALL

Its seems if rumours can be trusted (which as all of you know is a sure thing here in Montreal..HA!) there are 10 potential Purchasers for the Canadiens franchise and the Beaver Centre. The capital necessary to purchase the team is estimated to be 414 million Canadian dollars and will most likely sell for between 500 and 600 million. It seems some of those on the list could seriously be considered legitimate. , Guy Lalibert, founder of Cirque du Soleil, Quebecor’s, Les Productions Feeling (Celine Dion and Rene Angelil), Caisse de dépôt et placement and Jim Balsillie, the co-CEO of Research in Motion. In my mind these 5 represent the most intriguing and interesting purchasers. Lets take a look Them;

• Guy Lalibert, founder of Cirque du Soleil, estimated net worth (US $1.5 billion) he has numerous entertainment and business contacts that would allow him the ability to find other sources of capital to assist in a purchase. I would look for him to potentially group up with other Quebec investors to make a run.

• Quebecor the media and entertainment giant can most probably raise the necessary capital. It would have an interest in the team from a purely commercial standpoint and the potential spin off impacts it could have on it's other business units. Traditionally this type of company is more interested in a close to majority share position so look for it to twin up with another company such as Celine's to make a run
  

• Les Productions Feeling (Celine Dion and Rene Angelil) 2007 net worth of Celine was estimated at (US $250million). The net value (what hasn't been gambled away by her husband) is most probably more then that with all components of their entertainment empire. Here also i see some type of joint partnership if they are to make a serious run.

• Caisse de dépôt et placement. Regardless of their current difficult financial times (losses of 25 billion in 2008-09) they still have the ability to bring together the money necessary to purchase the team. hoever if one uses their average required return on investment the team probably doesn't make the grade. Look to the Caisse to perhaps put in money in some type of joint venture like the ones mentioned above.
  

• Jim Balsillie, the co-CEO of Research in Motion (US $1.6billion) This one is the most interesting however. He has shown that he can raise the money for a purchase. The interesting thing though is he seems to want to bring a team closer to his headquarters and his home. Balsillie has made several attempts to buy an NHL team, including the Nashville Predators and Pittsburgh Penguins, raising speculation that he would then move it to the southern Ontario region.
  

Less interesting and more unlikely purchasers are; Stephen Bronfman of Claridge Investments Inc, Joey Saputo, (Montreal impact owner and saputo cheese giant), Spectrum Equity, Groupe Aldo and Serge Savard. One under the radar purchaser to keep an eye on is Roustan Capital, they are well connected in the world of sports as well as being a major investor with capacity to raise serious capital if required. There core market however is currently taking a beating from the down turn in the markets.

There is no doubt that the coming weeks will prove to be quite interesting and i can't wait to watch and listen to the media talking heads go on about this one.


RANGERS 3 CANADIENS 1

Well it seems the Canadiens are going to do everything they possibly can to avoid a trip to the playoffs or are potentially hoping to apply the same idea as the fat lazy slob who works beside you and tries to get everyone else to do his work for him. Last night Philadelphia helped in that regard. The sad thing is the Canadiens look bad...plain and simple bad...they look old and tired. it occurs to me as everyone scrambles to pray for a playoff birth that its quite fruitless. Is the goal just to make it into the post season to get knocked out in 4 or 5? Is it the belief that "anything" can happen in the playoffs? Understand one thing (well a couple of things). This team is out of ideas, out of talent and out of heart. Regardless of what happens nothing good is coming out of this season. NOTHING!

As i watch the media frenzy, talking heads, and rabid fans it seems it's like a cheering club of men at a local Bar motivating one of their buddies to get a particular woman (we"ll call her "playoffs") to go home with him. Everyone irks him on, critics, and offers support and suggestions. When finally he does get her to go home with him he ends up not being able to seal the deal, i.e. (her feet pinned behind her ears). This scenario is exactly what is playing out with this playoff run. If we make it in (not in her) were not going anywhere because "playoffs"doesn't want to give out and no matter how much positive or how much encouragement or self denial we apply it is what it is... its closed, with no chance of driving it home.

Enjoy your day...and oh yes Boston on Thursday..EEH... GAD

Robbie

OH CRAP!

Well i was all on about this team actually having a chance (yeah i know like hell freezing over). I was even admitting that i might actually help fix the broken wheel on the bandwagon. It occurs to me however that i am just self delusional. I think its a case of applying perverted reverse psychology. Tell myself often enough and write it often enough that the Habs won't make the playoffs and they might actually make it. Well with three games left against the number one team in the east, the number 8 team in the east and the number 6 team. Things are not looking to positive. Maybe i should apply more psychology. Were down two crucial defencemen. Schneider it could be argued brings value primarily and only to the power play. Markov brings it all. Yes i know in the last playoffs he went missing in action like a soldier in Iraq's Republican Guard. Just the same he is an integral part of the team D and without him things are going to be tough. The offence was on fire against questionable defences but against Ottawa they has 21 shots. If the playoffs are in the horizon they could be shorter then a flight between Ottawa and Montreal.

We'll get to see Avery tonight and that always proves to be entertaining especially if he is on about sloppy seconds and chicken and fish. No doubt he'll be a factor tonight.








What the hell was Sid " he'll never be Gretzky" Crosby thinking about dropping the gloves. Yeah yeah yeah i know all about the, "he is the captain" crap; but he went after a guy for a clean check. What is up with that? Markov gets put out of the game on a questionable hit. Imagine the flying Finn Koivu dropping the gloves and going at it. Wait you actually have to have heart to do that...so good on you Sid.






The U.S. announced Ron Wilson as coach of the men's Olympic team. Ha! Double Ha! Well maybe he can instill that winning attitude into the Olympic team much like he has done for the Leafs. Well one less team to worry about in 2010. There won't be any miracles on ice in Vancouver.




The Masters gets underway on Thursday. Yeah i know...Tiger just won at Bayhill, but you know what? Put your money on someone else its not his tournament this year. Look for one of the new breeds on the tour to make a run. Harrington's putter isn't working, lefty is well lefty, Weir is a "no way", the Kiwi from Fiji might hang around a little, the crazy Spanish Ass (you pick one) but i mean Sergio is going to be like Lefty...and win a major in 5 years from now. Here are a few guys to watch; Trevor Immelman last years champion, Aaron Baddeley, Ben Curtis, Luke Donald, Sean O'Hair. Keep your eye on Geoff Ogilvy.




The UNC TAR HEELS power house does it again for the second time in 6 years for Roy Williams and the fifth National Championship. What can you say the school is clearly establishing itself as a march madness contender every year.









Major league Baseball (steroid free) yeah right. Got underway this year. As every other year look for the same old teams to be battling it out. Regardless we'll get over kill of the Rex Soxs and Yankees, the Mets, Cubs, Pirates, the Dodgers and Padres. What was it James Earl Jones said about baseball..oh yes, People will come, Ray.The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Ohhhhhhhh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.

Well people its baseball season again....if you pump it up with steroids it will fly..... over the wall!

LEAFS GONE. 4 TO GO

OK so its starting to look allot like Christmas! Well not exactly but if your a Habs fan it might seem like that. Especially after beating those tight ass conservative Leafs. Anything is worth seeing that and especially now that they have Burke, ''that lucky charms'' Irish man. 3 wins in a row and heading for what looks like a birth in the playoffs. As those following on one of my two blogs knows i am certainly not impressed by this team. In fact I have not been for along time. Every year we go through the same nonsense. The team starts out strong. Everyone jumps on the band wagon. The talking head french media gets way past itself. The team slides backwards cause the talent we claim to have ultimately shows its true lack thereof. Then we get to hear those same French media talking heads spend the rest of the season trying to pick apart the team and blame any Englishmen in sight.

This season was somewhat different as no one seemed ready for the firing of Coach Carbonneau. Well now just 4 games left in the regular season and what 3 months ago seemed like a shoe in for a top 4 playoff spot has dwindled down to a fight for their playoff lives. Much has been made of the demise of this team, no more really needs to be said. My belief is a playoff spot is a sure thing as much as the subsequent first round exit at the hands of the Washington Capitals. With that will bring 6 months of bitching and moaning (not the good kind) Everyone will pipe in with their opinions and as you know opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. It will go on and on and on. Some of it will make sense most of it will be nonsense.

So instead of boring you with a bunch of nonsense about the next two weeks here are my suggestions to ''BOY'' George Gillette and Pierre ''invisible man'' Boivin and Bob ''french i am not'' Gainey.

• Sell the team to Hamilton Ontario and then we can really start a Habs Leafs rivalry

• Call the Country Club and ask them to shine your clubs and shoes cause you'll be golfing after April 15th.
  

• Get rid of Koivu, Kovy, Money (Price), the Russian Mafia, and those other guys who's names i couldn't even pronounce let alone spell. (they know who they are).

• Sell the charter plane and by 5 Winnebago's and transport the team around in those, that should fix any notion of ''spoiled athlete''.

• Stop staying at the Hilton or Marriott and start staying at the Super 8 those hotels are generally near some run down strip joints so none of the players will have to worry about being recognized during that private booth lap dance. Also the Russian mafia doesn't hang out at those places there to low class.
  

• Cancel the TV deal with RDS or at least demand that they change their announce and analyst team.

• Buy all the TV time immediately after the game on all French networks and get rid off all those talking heads and replace them with 1 hour of the best Chris Nilan fights and the Nordiques and Habs battles of the 80's

• Find a President who actually likes hockey and understands it.

• Figure out that you actually have to spend money to build a team. In the off season and at the trade deadline.
  

• Trade Youppi for a third round draft choice

• Bring back those hottie commercial break ice shovelers.

These are just some suggestions. I'm open to others.

GO HABS GO! HA

Robbie

* LES GLORIEUX, THE DEPARTED and BOY GEORGE

Les Glorieux are for sale, they might soon be departed and Boy George is heading out of town. Board up the windows everyone. Chain down everything that can be used as a projectile in a riot. Move your cars from Ste Catherine's Street to the west island, Shuttle Bus the street walkers to Laval. Shut down all the gas stations, call up the National Guard (wait we don't have a National Guard) ok, ok, call in the Surete de Quebec reinforcements from ST Louis de HA HA (they'll be here in 3 days).Whats going on? THE CANADIENS ARE FOR SALE! Oh my God!

People will be jumping from their office windows in the Place Ville Marie Tower. The girls at WANDA'S are applying for jobs in Fort McMurry. The analysts from RDS, 110% and Anti Chambre are already applying to TSN (Toronto Sports Network). Benoit Brunet is changing in those gay glasses for some contact lenses. Dave Morissette is applying to the WWE (the only job he might actually be qualified for).Michel Bergeron is checking with his Hollywood contacts to see what the chances of landing a part in ''LES BOYS'' Part whatever. Bertrand Raymond is considering going to work for the anti suicide hotline (business will pick up with the sale). Yes Folks its pandemonium in Montreal.

I am always slightly amused, perplexed, frightened, bewildered and down right fascinated when things go horribly wrong with ''Les Glorieux''. Nowhere in the northern hemisphere do people take a sport more seriously (alright there was some place in South America where they killed a soccer player for letting in a goal) but truly no where in the normal world (wait did i just say Montreal was normal).OK hang on, i'm all over the map with this article so far. Well quite fitting with the way the Canadiens have been for the last ?? years. Anyways friends are any of you really surprised to hear that the king of companies is looking to potentially sell his franchise. I mean we are talking about junk bond king Gillette, (Boy George) 1992 Chapter 11 champion. New majority owner of the Liverpool soccer team. The King of Ski hills. Did anyone really think this guy was serious about ''LES CANADIENS''

Oh yes, yes, there will be those of you who will start writing me to tell me all the wonderful things BOY GEORGE has done for hockey in Montreal. What a good businessman he is and how we were fortunate to have him as an owner. Well let me just tell those 4 people (his Kids) right off the bat; don't bother writing i won't publish your comments..i mean geez, common. Ah there i go again i regress. The truth is BOY GEORGE is a business man and any good chapter 11 champion will tell you he knows when to get out of Dodge..ER..Montreal. He sees the writing clearly now; failure, no playoffs and Russian mafia combined to break this camels back. The talking heads that are the quote, unquote gods of hockey in this town just didn't know when to shut the hell up.

To quote Dwayne ''The Rock'' Johnson, ''IT DOESN'T MATTER who you are''. The years have ticked off the scoreboard in this town. History can only hold you over, can only carry you for so long (unless of course your a Maple Leafs fan..in which case your just a sadist). The media here, the talking heads, the ex coaches, ex players have been so delusional for so long that they in some way convinced themselves that THEY were the Franchise. That it was them and not the actual owner who would decide the outcome of this team. OH, make no mistake, over the next few months these talking heads will talk even louder, as loud as they can to make sure that the French Canadian heritage is defended, they will demand french ownership, they will tell everyone how no American, or Englishman can actually appreciate the French suffering, they will BLAH BLAH BLAH us to death with it all. More coverage will be dedicated to this issue then the local poutine competition in Lac St Jean. The talking heads will completely ignore the true ownership history of this club (see my blog ''Canadiens the new Toronto Maple Leafs'' article for a refresher). These media pie-holes will do everything they can to influence the naive band wagon hoppers, the ''historyclingers'' and the sentimental swoons that their team is really their team and that they are rightfully entitled to some type of voice on the future of this team. If it wasn't all so funny it would be funny.

In my mind i would like nothing better then to see this team leave this town (my Dad just rolled over in his grave). Death threats will start to pour in. What i say here i say because it needs to be said, only if to make everyone appreciate what we truly have here. You see friends for way to long we have been lulled into a sense of entitlement. The talking heads have for way to long had many people here actually believing that this team does belong to us. It doesn't! The moments, the history, the accomplishments, the heart breaking lows, the breath stopping highs, those belong to us, but they don't give us ownership they give us memories. There unto itself is part of the biggest problem of this franchise and anyone who might even contemplate purchasing it. With any great success comes an even greater desire for greater success. In the case of the Canadiens history has become their greatest enemy.

Hockey isn't what it was in the 50's, 60's or 70's with expansion came profitability, came big business, came sponsorship and corporate boxes. Came ticket prices that excluded the core supporters of the sport; the father with his children enjoying and passing on the torch of their hero's. With the change came expectations of winning all the time or at the very least giving the impression of winning. The sport took a complete turn from what brought it to its heights. The reason rabid fans of Montreal truly believe they have ownership is because back then those players were part of the landscape, part of the fabric of the city. they were working class hero's on a pedestal so high that they could have shook hands with God. But the players back then understood their role, understood the great responsibility. Today the millionaire's and their agents go from free agency to free agency without the slightest regard for history or tradition. The Canadiens PR department has done a wonderful job over the decades at keeping the luster, the dream, the idea of what this team was supposed to be alive. Without them they would be just another team in just another town. Look at the 100th year celebration, the all star game, the throw back uniforms, the plaza garnished with bricks and statues. Its all about heritage but if anything its more about memories

Over the next few months everyone from the Premier to the Prime minster, to potentially the Pope himself will be forced to pipe in on the subject. Irked on by a rabid media that would not know how to go on if the Canadiens were to ever leave. Now many of you are saying forget it Rob, it will never happen; this team will never be allowed to leave this town. Maybe your right, but you know what? Money talks and bullsh..ah...this team doesn't play. There are simply not that many dollars ready to step forward to inherit this disaster (estimated to be worth approx $415 million including the Bell Centre). The risk is not what it used to be, the luster is not as polished, there are no banners hanging since 1993. This team has more negatives then positives. There is a reason Briere, Lecavalier, Sundin, etc, etc. don't play here. You also best believe that even in this depressed economy there is some business man in some town like Hamilton, Seattle, and believe it or not Winnipeg that would love to have a shot at owning the most storied sports franchise in North America. If i was a rabid fan I'd be checking real estate in some of the above mentioned towns cause the party no matter how enticing, entertaining and downright fun its been for the last 100 years might actually be ending. NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA NA...HEY HEY HEY...GOODBYE.

Robbie

* CANADIENS THE NEW TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

* CANADIENS THE NEW TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

OH BOY! THE TOWN IS COMING UNRAVELED. THE EFFIGIES ARE BEING ERECTED FOR BURNING. CITIZENS ARE DEMANDING ACTION. CITY HALL IS READY TO GET INVOLVED. THE PROVINCIAL GOVERNMENT IS CONVENING A SPECIAL PARLIAMENTARY COMMITTEE. THE PRESS IS DEMANDING HEADS TO ROLL. What might you ask is happening, has the economy gotten that bad, is the health system deteriorated to the point where the government might fall, is the education system finally at the breaking point, is the government going Bankrupt. NO its nothing that minor, it's the Montreal Canadiens in 8th spot and poised to potentially miss the playoffs..my God stop the presses, shut down the town, run...hide your Tiny Tim Horton hockey playing children, lock up the wife...its chaos.

Listen i don't want to say i told you so but I TOLD YOU SO! In this city so preoccupied by its hockey that a guy would rather watch hockey on TV then go to a strip club and have Natasha bent over to show him her "assets", nothing less then success is demanded. But here is where it gets rather comical. We haven't had success in this town for over 16 years...let me repeat that 16 years. Oh yes i know this is the hockey Dynasty, the holy grail, the lost Ark of the National Hockey League. Wait hold the phone. Rush down to the old Forum (the Pepsi Forum...no wonder the ghost are pissed off) get the ghosts bring them to the Bell Center (Beaver Centre in more ways then one..wink) everything will be fine. AH NO!

This town has gotten to be as bad as the wind filled lungs of the conservative tight ass club also known as the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes i said it! Start sending me the hate mail. But for God sakes people lets take our collective heads out of our asses and start calling a spade a spade and not a shovel. This team has been nothing but a disaster for the longest time. Yes way past the time when we won 2 Stanley cups in 1986 and 1993. For so long the media and the rabid fans have convinced themselves and anyone needing a lift on a band wagon that this team was great. When in fact all actual evidence points to the complete opposite. You have to go back to 1978-79 season to see when the last time the Canadiens were truly the dynasty of old. The team which was so overwhelmingly better then everyone else that they rightly deserved the name dynasty and their true place in sports greatness. Since then 30 years ago (swallow collectively..yes 30 years ago) this team has been nothing more then a team amongst 30 some other teams battling it out with nothing but 2 Stanley cups to show for its efforts.

Every game night and any other night in between on TV we are bombarded with all these talking heads; from ex coaches and players of the Habs, to ex coaches and players of other teams to media types who never laced up their skates in anything other then a minor junior league continuing to feed us all these false expectations. The Montreal Canadiens franchise has become exactly like the Toronto Maple Leafs. It has no heart any more. In a town once dominated by a passion so strong for hockey that it was rumored that if a game was played Sunday morning at 10am the churches would be empty (in a society predominantly 70% catholic). This team that at one time was a team for the people by the people has become nothing more then a hollow shell of corporate America. The goal isn't to win and win only. The goal is to manage it, to maximize it, to play on the traditions of old, to lull us all into a sense of acceptance. The challenge isn't nor has it ever been to fill seats or sell corporate boxes, the history alone of this team has taken care of that. The goal now is simply to make it make sense financially and to manage it no different then any other business.

The Canadiens have become the classic example of over state, over promise, over expect and under deliver. Much of the problem lies in the hands of the media who sell enormous amounts of news paper, TV time and magazines filled with advertising space. Another part of the problem lies with the way the team is structured and the twisted history which French media types try and attach back to the French Canadian heritage. When in fact other then great players like Maurice "Rocket" Richard, Beliveau, Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, Jacques Plante, Lafleur, (and a bunch i left out) has nothing at all to do with the french Culture. It was originally supposed to be about french players and french ownership but that never really transpired.

Look back to the The Canadiens; they were founded by J. Ambrose O'Brien on December 4, 1909, as a charter member of the National Hockey Association, O'Brien was from Ontario. The team was then sold to George Washington Kendall (aka George Kennedy)a Quebecois of Irish-Scot dependency. On November 3, 1921, his widow sold the Canadiens hockey team for $11,000 to businessmen Joseph Cattarinich (Italian descent), Leo Dandurand and Louis A. Letourneau. Dandurand was the active partner during their tenure (Dandurand was born in Bourbonnais, Illinois. He moved to Canada with his family when he was 16 years old)(Cattarinich was known as "The Silent One" and Létourneau sold his stake in 1930)In 1935 a syndicate of local Montreal businessmen led by Maurice Forget and Ernest Savard stepped forward to buy the club .In 1957, brothers Tom and Hartland Molson, owners of the Molson brewery, purchased the team. The 1950s were by far the most successful decade for the Canadiens, and it is believed by many that the Habs of this era were the best team in NHL history. Between 1950-51 and 1955-56, the Canadiens made the finals every year, winning six times (including a record five straight between 1955-56 and 1959-60). The team's owner, the Molson brewery, decided to refocus on its core business and sell the Canadiens (the Molson Centre was subsequently also put up for sale). After being unable to entice any Canadian investors to make an offer,[27] Molson sold an 80.1% interest in the team and 100% of the Molson Centre to American investor George N. Gillett Jr. As you can see the whole French Canadien ownership is more likely ownership by default of the Fans and not by true French Canadians. In essence a false sense of proprietorship which is more tangible to the great french speaking players then it is to the Club itself.

So here we are today the 20th day of March 2009, Two weeks after the firing of the coach and into a dismal slide out of the playoffs and the talking heads are still talking as if the Dynasty still existed. IT DOESN'T. I remember back to the day when Houle, Tremblay and Cournoyer were named to lead the team. I remember saying that that decision was like putting, goofy, mini and mickey mouse in charge of the Disney Franchise. We've been through 5 coaches in the last 10 years. This team has become a joke. The leading scorer on the team is a defense man. We have two 20 goal scorer, a captain who has done nothing in the way of winning (minus his personal health and injury battles) A bunch of Russian mafia types (that's a play on the media hype that turned out to be nothing involving a few of the Russian players). We have an over hyped, over his head 21 year old goalie. And a bunch of other guys that nobody else in any town outside of Quebec could name.

The sad reality for everyone is nothing is going to change. This team might sneak in by a nose hair into the playoffs. Skate around and make the over hyped over expecting and dreaming fans happy. Get knocked out in the first round and then listen to the front office executives tell us about the optomism for next season. GIVE ME A BREAK. In the end this team is going nowhere near Lord Stanley's hardware anytime soon. So folks tune in to 110%, anti chambre or RDS blowhard analysts and talking heads, pick up the Gazette, the Journal de Montreal, La Presse so they can tell you every reason why the Canadiens can't win but you should keep on dreaming. Listen to the great debate about the next coach and how he has to be a Francophone or be able to speak french even though there are only 5 French players on the team. People get the golf bag out, shine the clubs and watch the silliness. GO LEAFS GO! (yeah there not making the playoffs either).

Robbie