Mr. Gainey and the Two Ring Circus

Well yesterday was a sad day for some and a happy day for others. Generally it depended on your knowledge of hockey and the language you speak. There is no doubt however that the departure of Mr. Bob Gainey marks an end of an era here in MTL. Only time will tell what his departure will mean or more importantly do for the team. I came to the conclusion while watching the press conference that we needed some better translation of the information being distributed. So here you are. My translation of Mr. Gainey and the two ring circus.

BOB: Je quitte l'équipe que j'aime, que je donne à celui en qui j'ai le plus confiance.

TRANSLATION: I'm so fucking fed up with all the second guessing, arm chair coaching, General Manager wanna Be's. I'm leaving in charge the guy the least competent to do the job (and the only one stupid enough to take it). Simply because i much prefer watching you eat one of your own from time to time. Oh and also Rejean Tremblay and that fucktard Betrand suck monkey nuts.

BOB:Durant les fete J'ai parler avec Pierre Boivin.

TRANSLATION: After 26 eggnog's I called up the President (what the fuck does he do anyways?) and told him that if he wants to be the king Kahuna. Its all yours BABY! You marketing fucktard!

BOB: Entre partir un peu plus tôt ou rester un peu plus longtemps, je préfère plus tôt que plus tard.

TRANSLATION: The last three years has felt like my fucking head was in a vice and was going to explode. I decided not to give all you media talking head, know everything, hockey fucks the pleasure of seeing it explode.

BOB: J'ai fait de mon mieux, je passe le flambeau.

TRANSLATION: I kept order in this fucked up town for way to long and got shit on by everyone except the funeral guys. I'm getting out of Dodge before the whole town goes to hell. (which by the way should be around March 1st).

BOB: I Might take up the Piano

TRANSLATION: Your all fucked

PIERRE BOIVIN in TRANSLATION

BOIVIN: On y a pensé, mais pas longtemps. La liste de gens qui peuvent être DG dans la LNH n'est pas longue. Il y a peu de gens dans le monde qui peuvent le faire. La plupart sont sous contrat. Quand on regarde les critères pour réussir dans ce marché, ce sont l'expérience, le bilinguisme et les bons résultats.

TRANSLATION: I was dreaming no one, but no one wants this fucking job. I woke up believing i was in Ottawa. I thought about it but not very long ( i have the attention span of the whale)I came to the conclusion very quickly that Gauthier and everyone else once associated with the Senators failed there (count chocula ''Martin''. ''Trevor I'm not from Timmins my name is Timmins''. ''Perry i used to be an accountant Pearns'' and ''Pierre can i fuck up your save percentage Groulx''). Hell why not reunite them all in Montreal. When you consider the criteria for being succesful in the NHL, Gauthier certainly does NOT fit any of the profiles but fuck it he speaks French, has Zero personality, so he can deal with you media fucktards. Now i can go back to trying to meet Clay Aiken through the Gillette Entertainment Group.

BOIVIN: Since no one really even knew i existed before this press conference i have nothing else of value to add.

TRANSLATION: None needed!

PIERRE GAUTHIER in TRANSLATION

GAUTHIER: Travailler dans la LNH est un honneur, travailler comme directeur général est un honneur, travailler pour le Canadien est le plus grand honneur », a commenté Gauthier.

TRANSLATION: I've pretty much failed every other job i've had so fuck why not this one too.

GAUTHIER: La position de gardien est une de nos grandes forces. Nous avons deux gardiens qui nous donnent une chance de gagner tous les soirs. C'est une force qu'on aimerait conserver d'ici la fin de la saison. Nous croyons que nous pouvons aller de l'avant avec ces deux jeunes. On ne peut jamais dire jamais, mais c'est une position forte où nous aimerions rester forts.

TRANSLATION: Later this week ''Pierre can i fuck up your save percentage Groulx'' and i are going to play rock, paper, scissors to see who we trade. If the media and the fans hate the trade i'll claim Groulx cheated.Now thats being a GM in the NHL.

GAUTHIER: Nous voulons garder Tomas à Montréal. Le processus évolue

TRANSLATION: I have no idea what fucking language that guy speaks so i have no idea if we can get a deal done or not.

GAUTHIER: I have no personality and even less of a success record.

TRANSLATION: Were fucked!

Well there you have it friends. A wrap up of the press conference announcing the departure of Bob Gainey. i don,t knwo about you but things don't really seem to be looking up. THANK YOU BOB FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID. ALL THE BEST!

















Robbie Hellstrom