SOMETHINGABOUTSPORTS

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

2011-04-12T11:30:00.000-04:00

TIGER GREEN

Well, well, well, my friends Spring 2011 has certainly arrived. If in doubt you only needed to tune into the Masters this weekend where temps were roving in the high 80's. Another thing roving around was a guy named Tiger. Now if you were not impressed by his play this weekend then you must not have been following the events of the last 16 months. If your dissapointed that he didn't manage to pull it off don't be. If i was anoyone of the players on the Tour i would certainly be looking over my shoulder and considering the bigger question; IS HE BACK? Then there is the media....oh God love them....pissing all over themselves because Tiger was not cordial during his post 4th round interview....i have a suggestion for the media....go drown yourself in Ray's Creek.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME

Another sure sign of spring is the return of the grand old game. Yes baseball is back. Now i admit that i don't tune in very frequently to any games prior to Octobre unless of course the match up in Sox vs Yanks. But just the same the arrival of spring brings the return of peanuts, popcorn and candy bars....not to mention the beer. So no predictions from me just wait till late Septembre to see who's left and then let the real games begin.

IT AIN'T OVER UNTIL SUMMER IS HALF DONE....ITS PLAYOFF TIME

Yes its that time and its really the only time i pay attention to indicate to me that spring has really arrived....we'll all be waterskiing, dipping in the pool and BBQing long before its all over but its Playoff time just the same. My Habs are in the playoffs though unfortunately not for long. Hopefully a quick exit will mean the front office will make the changes required to allow this team to truly compete in the years to come. Here are my first round predictions.

EAST                                         PREDICTION

Capitals vs Rangers                    Caps in 5
Flyers vs Sabers                         Flyers in 6
Habs vs Bruins                           Bruins in 5
Penguins vs Lightning                  Pens in 7

WEST

Canucks vs Blackhawks             Canucks in 6
Sharks vs Kings                         Sharks in 6
Red Wings vs Coyotes               Coyotes in 7
Ducks vs Predators                    Predators in 6

Well friends enjoy the spring, there is plenty of sports entertainment to keep everyone happy.

Robbie Hellstrom

TRY AND WIN

2010-04-15T12:56:00.006-04:00

Hello Boys and Girls do you know what time it is? No! Yes you do. Its playoff time. Its the time when the hockey nuts in your family go into a trance. Where they forget about everything else including your anniversary, birthday and shaving. So here we go. What follows is my continuing series of ''Divorcing The Canadiens'' as well as my predictions for the first round of the playoffs. So enjoy and for those non fans, see you in late June.

DIVORCING THE CANADIENS PART 4

Dear Lawyers,

Subject: My proposed Open letter to missus pre-divorce

Dear Missus CH,

While reflecting back on the last year i realize much has gone wrong between you and I. I am not however quite ready to throw in the towel on this 40 year relationship. This last year has been painful. Especially given your total lack of performance in Boston at the same time last year. This friggin year there has been much deception and many let downs. While i clearly blame you (well you and the 23 guys in your family and that dis-functional group you refer to as the head office) i am still willing to give you one final chance. I clearly understand that your inconsistencies, your bi-polar tendencies, your desire to get owned by bottom dwellers while dominating the high class makes you rather impossible to predict. Combined with those runs of 5 bad days followed by 4 good days immediately followed by 6 bad days had me popping PROZAC regularly. In fact it got so bad the doctor wouldn’t give me any more pills so I had to call that uptight, needs sex desperately, redneck blowhard Limbaugh and get some off of him. That was a low moment for me.

Let me just say i am still, regardless of the disastrous 17 years which have past since you last gave me head, (EEHHH...a cup) willing to make this insane relationship work. So here is all I’m asking; When you go to Washington this week try and act like a class act. Try and act like it matters, like your ass is on the line. Try and not bend over and get owned by some drunk Russian. I hear he loves to play dirty but try and control yourself. Try being a little more mobile on the D and try rushing into the zone instead of playing that God awful trap you love. Yes I know that guy in your family Count Jacqula says it’s the best system. But forget him it doesn’t work and that bone head couldn't get excited about a harem so forget him…..i might even love you more if you do. The other thing is do you think you could throw around some weight, I know your friend the whale is capable but are any of the others? I do realize that your three best friends are smurfs but I would appreciate if all 3 of them could bloody well show up at the same time one evening. It might actually make for some entertainment. Also please do something about your TIT Brothers…there sagging to your belly button and its getting embarrassing. Oh and last but not least do whatever you need to do to keep that foreign friend of yours happy. Don’t mess with his head if he doesn’t do to well tonight. Don’t think about going back to the whale as punishment. Stick with that guy and he might just pull off a miracle. You know like in 1993 with that french guy you called king?

In closing, should you fuck this up please discard this letter and officially consider our relationship over, done, finito, no more, riendo, KAPUTS. You understand you bastard? Now take a page out of Tigers book and ‘’just do it’’ or is that ‘’just do everything’’.

Sincerely,

One last chance

P.S. I’m praying you perform as hard as the Pope prays that no one figures out just how much of an accomplice he really was.

PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS ROUND 1

EAST

Washington vs Montreal               Washington 6
Ottawa vs Pittsburgh                     Pittsburgh 6
New Jersey vs Philadelphia           Philly 7
Boston vs Buffalo                         Buffalo 5

WEST

San Jose vs Colorado                  San Jose 5
Phoenix vs Detroit                        Phoenix 6
Vancouver vs Los Angeles           Vancouver 6
Chicago vs Nashville                    Chicago 5

Robbie Hellstrom

BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY

2010-04-06T10:26:00.005-04:00

No Tigger from Winnie The Phoo did not show up at Augusta National on Monday. Actually another not so famous Tiger showed up instead. Yes ladies and gentlemen, ''Tiger is on the Colf Course''. OK as sabbaticals or self imposed banishment goes 5 months is not exactly a long time. However, If you ask the PGA Tour, current tournament sponsors and the media outlets the 5 months has probably felt more like 5 years. TV viewership is down by 50% . Tournament attendance is off by 35%. Sponsor and advertising dollars has been falling faster then Tigers pants in a hotel room. Yes the fact is golf needs Tiger. No matter what you might think, your high road, moral standards aside. If Tiger does not play the PGA Tour has serious issues. I have said this before. I am not a big fan of Tiger but i am even less of a fan of the talking heads in the media.

That is why i find the whole Tiger drama so amusing. Lets stop for one second and put ourselves into his shoes. So imagine this. Your a successful man or woman. You have achieved recognition in the company you work for as being the best in your field. For being the go to guy or gal.You don't often let anyone down. You perform at a very high level. Your entrusted to do great things, no your expected to do great things. There is at times totally unreasonable pressure and expectations put on you by everyone in your life. You've made tonnes of money for both yourself and the companies you represent. Your rich, you don't need to work. In fact you've achieved almost everything that you can in your profession. You could retire, take it easy, enjoy your family and life. But you don't because you love your job, the work you do. You love to compete. The people in your community respect you and look up to you. They admire you and your success. They see you as something more then you are. But inside you hide a dark secret. You are a human being, you have vices like everyone else, you have faults (big ones) you make mistakes (really big ones). While being successful and portraying yourself in one light you have slunk along in the back allies doing destructive things. Then one day, BANG! The wheels fall off. Your dark, secret life is revealed. Not in your living room, not in the privacy of your home. Not just between you and your family but on National TV. Your face is broadcast around the world, all the sordid details of your dark secrets are discussed and analyzed in minute detail. Your life is being dissected under a public microscope. All the while the company you worked for is suffering. You've taken a 5 month ''break''. Some people at the company support you while others try and throw you under the bus. And all the while the media talking heads keep spewing speculation and nonsense.

So what do you do? You have all the money you need. You can live anywhere you want, do anything you want. What do you do? Do you head back to the office? Walk down the hallways with your head held high?Get right out and sit in the bleachers at the next little league baseball game? Go out to the next block party and socialize with all those who have been judging you? What do you do.? Do you sit up in front of 200 rabid media talking heads and let them come at you? Do you do all of that? Or do you just say, ''screw it, screw it all. Let them go on without me and see if i was all that bad''. You see the PGA TOUR needs Tiger much more then Tiger needs the TOUR. Not many of us would return if we were in the same situation. Yes there are those that will say he needs to beat Jack's record. That he is obsessed with beating it. That his only way to redemption is to return and keep playing and winning. Well you know what? That's BS. Tiger came back because all he knows is golf. All he is is golf. Its what defines him. Its what made him what he is, what he was and potentially what he hopes to be. Tiger is no different from you or me (minus the the money). We all need the chance to get back up when we fall down. We all need the benefit of the doubt that we can do better then we have done. That mistakes don't have to define us forever. Tiger came back for Tiger and the PGA TOUR and the media should kiss his ass for doing that.

Recently the media (don't you just love them) has begun discussing what Tiger owes them. Excuse me! Tiger owes you something? Contrary to popular delusional belief on the part of the media you did not make Tiger. Tiger made himself. One journalist said, ''its a two way street between the players and the media''. Its not a two way street. If Tiger Woods name was Blake Adams you would never hear his name spoken. The media would not dedicate 30 seconds to covering Blake Adams. Why? Because winners get covered by the media, they get put on a pedestal and worshipped. Winning and performance are what gets you front page coverage, magazine covers and sound bites. The reason you might never have heard the name Blake Adams is because he is currently 146 in the World Golf Rankings and the media just really doesn't care less because Blake Adams does not sell magazines, or newspapers or advertising time on TV. Tiger is covered by the media because of what he has accomplished but more importantly what he sells. He owes none of that to the Media. The media wasn't with him and his dad every morning they hit the links at 5 am when Tiger was 6 years old. They didn't stand in the rain with Tiger when he was 13 years old and practiced till his hand didn't work anymore. No. The media wrapped itself around him like a security blanket and rode his coat tails into glory. The media and the majority of its talking heads are sickening. They add nothing of value. Looking around the room yesterday you could see a bunch of middle aged men, with big bellies wearing corporate donated golf shirts. Journalists so profoundly buried in their own self worth and importance that they couldn't see the real story. What all of this has shown so resoundingly is the blurred line the media plays between covering a story and trying to make the story.

In case you missed it while you were chowing down on those free doughnuts boys the story is about a man. A man who could just as easily have told everyone involved in this sport to, ''go take a long walk off a very short cliff''. He could just as easily have stayed home. Most of us would. The story is about an athlete who loves the game. Who lives for it. An athlete who has done more for his sport then any other athlete. An Athlete who has constantly so out performed his competition that they look like amateurs beside him. There is no doubt that salacious details of extramarital affairs make much better news. The reality though is it tells nothing of the real story. A story about a man who was simply a man. There is no doubt that what Tiger did was reprehensible and destructive. That his action caused unmeasurable pain to his family. Here is the thing though. If what he did is truly news then might i suggest you start sending reporters and camera crews to cover every little sleepy bedroom community in the US. For the story you've been telling replays itself every day throughout not only the US but the world. No matter what his stature or his achievements Tiger is what we all are. The media certainly did not make him the talent that he is. They have simply tried to tell you what they think he is and what you should believe he is according to them.

Here is the thing. You don't have to like what the man has done. You shouldn't like what he has done. We should however appreciate what he is trying to do. So on Thursday morning all of this will mean nothing! A player will get up on the first tee and strike a ball down a fairway in one of the most respected tournaments in the world. He will repeat this over a 4 day period. As you watch this unfold ask yourself, would you have had the courage to come back after having your whole life exposed? Would you come back when in fact you really didn't have too? While your thinking about that check out the number of Media lurches who will be clamoring to talk to a man who only days before they were happily trying to destroy. Oh and in closing, is anyone planning on betting against Tiger to win. Because if you are, well...............................it won't matter if he wins. He already WON!

Robbie Hellstrom

I STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE

2010-03-11T17:36:00.002-05:00

Ok friends let me just start off by saying that yes i was TOTALLY wrong about the Men's Olympic Hockey results. I blew it big time. Both our Men's and Women's teams performed incredibly and both took home GOLD BABY! In the Women's case I don't think there was ever a whole lot of doubt. The women did not disappoint and it was fun watching them take another Gold medal. I was saddened to hear the negative press from the celebration the women held on the ice (with no one in the arena but a few media types). It made me angry that these women were called to behave in a manner that would constantly pass had they been Men. The double standard was disgusting from the media and I think the women deserved to celebrate however they saw fit. Good on you ladies don,t be deterred by a few talking heads.

So i am eating my crow on the men's side big time. Admitting that i was wrong and might i say i am very, very happy to have been. The start for the men was questionable. Especially the first game against the Americans. Perhaps that game was a wake-up call. Or perhaps it was just simply a part of the team bonding process. Whatever it was it certainly didn't make the average Canadian Hockey fan to comfortable. There were however some strong positives working in favour of our men's team. It seems the Russians and Swede's decided to give only 50% and they ended up doing us a big favor. On paper as is often the case the best team did not win Gold. But as always the paper is worthless. It's what you hang around your neck that counts the most. For our Boys it was Gold and that's all that anyone will ever remember. This team, at home with almost unattainable expectations did what it had to do. It pulled the strength, courage and skill together to create the winning recepie. Hats off to ''Sid the Kid'' for coming through in the pinch. Its clear he had way more pressure on him to be the next ''greatone'' and did his best to live up to that billing. The thing that impressed me the most was how well the youth stepped up to take some pressure off of the veterans. Men's hockey in Canada sure has a great deal to look forward to going forward. If there is a forward.

These games marked a potential turning point for Olympic Hockey. With no guarantee the NHL will compete is Sochi Russia in 2014 it might have been the last opportunity we Canadians get to see the very best our country produces on a sheet of ice together. If that is the case it will be a sad day for Hockey while at the same time it will restore the original Olympic spirit of amateur sport. I truly believe that having amateurs compete in Olympic Hockey would actually be good for the sport world wide. I believe it has the ability to grow the sport more then having NHLer's participate. The reason i say this is simple. Most youngster watching the Pro's play in the Olympics realize that that is a rare, if not impossible dream to make it to the NHL. If the players were still amateurs while playing in the Olympics it gives a better perception of the opportunity that might still exist for some young boy hoping one day to achieve hockey greatness. Prior to the NHL being involved in sending players to the Games almost all the players (minus Russia and the Czech) were amateur. Many of those players never made it to the NHL after competing in the games. However many of their names still remain common as a result of their performances during those 2 weeks every 4 years. I think if you want to build hockey worldwide you have to start by making it seem like it is possible to achieve great things without looking singularly at the NHL as an example of all hockey has to offer.

Whatever ends up happening will never change the past. it won’t change the Gold in Salt lake City or the 7th place finish in Torino or the most recent Gold. Canada's sport is hockey and whatever decision is made concerning Sochi in 2014 you can rest assured that Canadian televisions will be glued to every game involving our men's team.

Robbie Hellstrom

FROM 7TH TO 5TH

2010-02-15T21:13:00.005-05:00

Well boys and girls its time again. Yes every 4 years the frenzy comes back. The total insanity that is men's hockey during the Olympics. Many still hold fresh the fantastic accomplishment in Salt Lake City in 2002 but more importantly the disastrous finish in 2006 in Turin. That year it was the Swede's winning gold, the Finn's taking silver and the Czech's taking Bronze. The Canadian team finished 7th. Yeah i know your trying to forget. AH but as you know in Canada their is no forgetting, good, bad or ugly.

So here we are in 2010 with the games on home soil in Rainy, windy, foggy, sleety Vancouver, Richmond or Whistler i can't really be sure. Twelve teams have qualified for the men's event and will be split into three groups of four teams. At the request of the your friendly neighbourhood NHL and that midget, sorry assed, excuse for a commissioner Bettman; asked that the preliminary round be reduced to 3 games. Following the completion of the preliminary round, all teams will be ranked 1 through 12 based on points. The top four ranked teams will receive byes to the quarter-finals, and the other eight teams will play for the remaining four positions. Following that, the final eight teams will compete in a playoff. For the first time, Olympic games will be played on a narrower NHL-sized ice rink, measuring 61 metres × 26 metres (200 ft × 85 ft), instead of the international size of 61 m × 30 m (200 ft × 98.5 ft). Now some might think this gives some type of advantage to US and Canadian players. This however is far from the case. A large majority of teams competing have sizable NHL stars playing regularly on these ice surfaces. So hence there goes the imaginary advantage.

The Canadian team looks like this for this years Olympics:
GOALIES

Martin Brodeur (New Jersey Devils) (Montreal, Quebec)
Marc-Andre Fleury (Pittsburgh Penguins) (Sorel, Quebec)
Roberto Luongo (Vancouver Canucks) (Montreal, Quebec)

DEFENCEMEN
Dan Boyle (San Jose Sharks) (Ottawa, Ontario)
Drew Doughty (Los Angeles Kings) (London, Ontario)
Duncan Keith (Chicago Blackhawks) (Penticton, B.C.)
Scott Niedermayer (Anaheim Ducks) (Cranbrook, B.C) *Team Captain*
Chris Pronger (Philadelphia Flyers) (Dryden, Ontario) *Alternate Capt.*
Brent Seabrook (Chicago Blackhawks) (Tsawassen, B.C.)
Shea Weber (Nashville Predators) (Sicamous, B.C.)

FORWARDS
Patrice Bergeron (Boston Bruins) (Sillery, Quebec)
Sidney Crosby (Pittsburgh Penguins) (Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia) *Alternate Capt.*
Ryan Getzlaf (Anaheim Ducks) (Regina, Saskatchewan)
Dany Heatley (San Jose Sharks) (Calgary, Alberta)
Jarome Iginla (Calgary Flames) (St. Albert, Alberta) *Alternate Capt.*
Patrick Marleau (San Jose Sharks) (Aneroid, Saskatchewan)
Brenden Morrow (Dallas Stars) (Carlyle, Saskatchewan)
Rick Nash (Columbus Blue Jackets) (Brampton, Ontario)
Corey Perry (Anaheim Ducks) (London, Ontario)
Mike Richards (Philadelphia Flyers) (Kenora, Ontario)
Eric Staal (Carolina Hurricanes) (Thunder Bay, Ontario)
Joe Thornton (San Jose Sharks) (ST. Thomas, Ontatio)
Jonathan Toews (Chicago Blackhawks) (Winnipeg, Manitoba)

It certainly will be interesting to see how this team gels together. The thing to watch this year will be the emergence of younger players who play in their first Olympic games. Stars such as Crosby, Towes, Fleury and Bergeron will make for some interesting analyses after everything is said and done. Several players that were part of the 2006 Olympic team were left off the roster, including Vincent Lecavalier, Shane Doan, Simon Gagne, Ryan Smyth, Martin St. Louis, Robyn Regehr and Bouwmeester. As a result, the Canadian team will be relatively young. Twelve of the 23 players are currently 25 or under. These players had better take advantage of the moment because as of 2009, it has not yet been decided if the NHL will participate in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Russia. A deal will have to be negotiated between the NHL and NHLPA in the Collective Bargaining Agreement. NHL management is hesitant to commit to the tournament; Bettman argues the Olympic break is a "strain on the players, on the schedule and on fans", adding that "the benefits we get tend to be greater when the Olympics are in North America than when they're in distant time zones." According to Bettman, most of the NHL team owners agree with his position, and feel that the league does not receive enough benefits to justify the schedule break and risk of player injuries.

OK folks so here it is my prediction for the Olympic medals.

RUSSIA Gold
CZECH Silver
SWEDEN Bronze

So what of our Team Canada. Well unfortunately look no further then 5th spot right behind Finland and one spot in front of the Americans. Why do i believe this? Well the Canadian talent is young. There is some good senior talent but i don't think the team will be successful in blending the two to create a wining recipe. The youth should provide some interesting entertainment but i think that talent can have some serious negative impacts on the whole team aspect required to win at these Olympics. Due to the fact that these youngsters hardly ever play together can cause some serious balance shifts in the, ''play like a team'' mentality. Then there is the goaltending issue. Brodeur has not been particularly hot lately. Luongo does not give me a whole lot of confidance going in and Fleury is young. Fleury however might be the key to any success beyond a 5th place finish if they give him a chance to play. I also believe simply that the home rink advantage will turn out to be anything but. The media scrutiny will simply play against our guys. I also think if you size up the team against the type of hockey being played by the Russians; this will leave our guys looking flat and winded. Combined with the complete team the Czech will put on the ice and the talent in the Swedish Team leaves no chance for a medal finish this year. But hey! I could be wrong.

DO YOU BELIEVE? Or more appropriately. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?

Robbie Hellstrom

Mr. Gainey and the Two Ring Circus

2010-02-09T17:25:00.001-05:00

Well yesterday was a sad day for some and a happy day for others. Generally it depended on your knowledge of hockey and the language you speak. There is no doubt however that the departure of Mr. Bob Gainey marks an end of an era here in MTL. Only time will tell what his departure will mean or more importantly do for the team. I came to the conclusion while watching the press conference that we needed some better translation of the information being distributed. So here you are. My translation of Mr. Gainey and the two ring circus.

BOB: Je quitte l'équipe que j'aime, que je donne à celui en qui j'ai le plus confiance.

TRANSLATION: I'm so fucking fed up with all the second guessing, arm chair coaching, General Manager wanna Be's. I'm leaving in charge the guy the least competent to do the job (and the only one stupid enough to take it). Simply because i much prefer watching you eat one of your own from time to time. Oh and also Rejean Tremblay and that fucktard Betrand suck monkey nuts.

BOB:Durant les fete J'ai parler avec Pierre Boivin.

TRANSLATION: After 26 eggnog's I called up the President (what the fuck does he do anyways?) and told him that if he wants to be the king Kahuna. Its all yours BABY! You marketing fucktard!

BOB: Entre partir un peu plus tôt ou rester un peu plus longtemps, je préfère plus tôt que plus tard.

TRANSLATION: The last three years has felt like my fucking head was in a vice and was going to explode. I decided not to give all you media talking head, know everything, hockey fucks the pleasure of seeing it explode.

BOB: J'ai fait de mon mieux, je passe le flambeau.

TRANSLATION: I kept order in this fucked up town for way to long and got shit on by everyone except the funeral guys. I'm getting out of Dodge before the whole town goes to hell. (which by the way should be around March 1st).

BOB: I Might take up the Piano

TRANSLATION: Your all fucked

PIERRE BOIVIN in TRANSLATION

BOIVIN: On y a pensé, mais pas longtemps. La liste de gens qui peuvent être DG dans la LNH n'est pas longue. Il y a peu de gens dans le monde qui peuvent le faire. La plupart sont sous contrat. Quand on regarde les critères pour réussir dans ce marché, ce sont l'expérience, le bilinguisme et les bons résultats.

TRANSLATION: I was dreaming no one, but no one wants this fucking job. I woke up believing i was in Ottawa. I thought about it but not very long ( i have the attention span of the whale)I came to the conclusion very quickly that Gauthier and everyone else once associated with the Senators failed there (count chocula ''Martin''. ''Trevor I'm not from Timmins my name is Timmins''. ''Perry i used to be an accountant Pearns'' and ''Pierre can i fuck up your save percentage Groulx''). Hell why not reunite them all in Montreal. When you consider the criteria for being succesful in the NHL, Gauthier certainly does NOT fit any of the profiles but fuck it he speaks French, has Zero personality, so he can deal with you media fucktards. Now i can go back to trying to meet Clay Aiken through the Gillette Entertainment Group.

BOIVIN: Since no one really even knew i existed before this press conference i have nothing else of value to add.

TRANSLATION: None needed!

PIERRE GAUTHIER in TRANSLATION

GAUTHIER: Travailler dans la LNH est un honneur, travailler comme directeur général est un honneur, travailler pour le Canadien est le plus grand honneur », a commenté Gauthier.

TRANSLATION: I've pretty much failed every other job i've had so fuck why not this one too.

GAUTHIER: La position de gardien est une de nos grandes forces. Nous avons deux gardiens qui nous donnent une chance de gagner tous les soirs. C'est une force qu'on aimerait conserver d'ici la fin de la saison. Nous croyons que nous pouvons aller de l'avant avec ces deux jeunes. On ne peut jamais dire jamais, mais c'est une position forte où nous aimerions rester forts.

TRANSLATION: Later this week ''Pierre can i fuck up your save percentage Groulx'' and i are going to play rock, paper, scissors to see who we trade. If the media and the fans hate the trade i'll claim Groulx cheated.Now thats being a GM in the NHL.

GAUTHIER: Nous voulons garder Tomas à Montréal. Le processus évolue

TRANSLATION: I have no idea what fucking language that guy speaks so i have no idea if we can get a deal done or not.

GAUTHIER: I have no personality and even less of a success record.

TRANSLATION: Were fucked!

Well there you have it friends. A wrap up of the press conference announcing the departure of Bob Gainey. i don,t knwo about you but things don't really seem to be looking up. THANK YOU BOB FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID. ALL THE BEST!

Robbie Hellstrom

DIVORCING THE CANADIENS PART III

2010-02-06T12:24:00.000-05:00

Dear Lawyers,

Well after much consideration and soul searching me and the Mrs. have decided to file for legal separation. Yes I know it’s a pity after 100 years of being together but its clear that I must take some time to reflect on this dysfunctional relationship. It was quite clear after Saturdays trip to Ottawa that things have got to change. No longer can I handle the mental anguish of trying to predict what the Mrs is going to do on any given evening or in the case of Ottawa, afternoon.

You see the day started off good enough. I was off to the casino in Lac lemay. Yeah and OK for the record, its in Hull. Which could very possibly be the asshole of Canada. NO WAIT! Toronto owns that title hands down. Anyway that Lac as they call it which is supposed to mean Lake in English is actually an old quarry filled with water where they have this fountain and apparently when the water isn’t frozen (which is like 6 weeks per year) they have these crappy water ski shows which they ripped from one of the Disney parks. OK so back to the trip. I go to the casino early and sit down to enjoy some Caribbean stud poker. Things aren’t looking to good as the dealer keeps drawing big. Then finally I get a hand three kings and two fives. I’ve got $200 in the ante so now I got to bet double so I lay down another $400. I look over at the payout board at the table and its says full house 5 to 1 pay. I’m thinking qualify you f&*k*&g dealer prick or I’m going to strangle you like I tried to do to the Mrs. about 25 times this season plus some overtime where we choked each other but the Mrs. ended up losing. The dealer flips over his cards and oh Baby! He has a pair of nines and I’m seeing $200 more for my ante and $2000 for my bet plus a bonus payout of $250. Yes sir I’m ready to head back to see the Mrs. and I’m convinced this afternoon is going to be awesome!

So I get back to the Mrs and things seem ok but seems a little antsy. She is like talking for 6 or 7 straight minutes without a break. Going from end to end. Its rather fun to watch. I think the Mrs. is acting kinda weird but I just go with it. So I decide to get closer to her and then it hits me. I smell that Russian all over her. I’m sure she got banged at least on time by that bastard. But seeing as I have extremely low standards and am willing to accept seconds I don’t say a word. I just sit there with the Mrs and we decide to try and apply some of the Karmahockeysutra. Well let me tell you we get right into it and I almost immediately forget about the Russian prick. Were trying a bunch of those positions and that ‘’PP’’ position seems to be working wonders for the Mrs. But given all the info in that book I must say it was kinda blah, nothing like our trip to NJ or that NY theme night. So during intermission from our Karmahockeysutra we decide to go get some food. We sit down and the Mrs decides on calamari and as she is eating it some guy bumps into her arm and the cammalleri goes flying into the wall and slumps to the ground. It takes two waiters and a cook to carry the cammalleri back to the kitchen but it never comes back. I’m thinking, ‘’CRAP, CRAP, CRAP’’ that cammalleri cost like 5 million bucks and was the best thing Mrs. had going for her. Needless to say things spiralled down hill from there and me and the Mrs. ended up strangling each other and she lost in overtime again.

SO that’s it! I’m not doing this anymore. I figure legal separation gives me the opportunity to to shop around and see what else is out there while at the same time keeping myself open for a late night booty call from the Mrs if I get desperate or if I end up regretting my decision. So gentlemen I would appreciate if you would draw up the papers so I can officially sign them. Oh and please be careful I understand she has a shrewed, goofy looking, Irish lawyer who lives in Toronto and is not afraid to shake things up and do very unpredictable things. Kinda the way I wish the Mrs…ah never mind!

Yours truly,

Friggin fed up in Montreal

DIVORCING THE CANADIENS PART II

2010-02-06T12:20:00.002-05:00

Dear Lawyers,

I wanted to say thank you to all those who offered opinions on what to do about my and the Mrs. marital problems and potential divorce. I must say some people in here have some strange opinions; Moeman told me to go with porn. Anyways as a result of my letter to you I got a call from this place called ‘’L’antichambre’’… yeah I know what the heck does that mean. Anyways I figured what the heck I might as well go down there and meet them. So I arrive and their office and its like a sports memorabilia store with furniture stolen from the Cage Aux Sport. In fac gtit felt allot like a Cage Aux Sport. These 5 huys are sitting there and they have Newspapers and when I walk in they flash their papers at me with these big bold black font headlines on them. This guy Bertrands said, ‘’je suis pure laine…Mrs. na pas de laine’’ this other guy named Coach had written, ‘’ Mrs. ma appris a lire, apres le sex’’ and this guy named Burgy had written, ‘’J’ai baisser Mrs. Dans un chemise des Nordique et elle a aimer ca!’’ Well kick me cause I don’t understand a word of french so I fired all of them. It didn’t matter they all looked like way past their prime dinosaur windbags.

Anyhow after much consideration and evaluation of all the opinions I received yesterday I have decided to give it one last try with the Mrs. Yes sir were gong to Ottawa this weekend. Were going to se if we can’t salvage this relationship. In fact were going to try some kinky sexual stuff to spice things up. We bought a book called Karmasutrahockey. There are some things called the ‘’PP’’ and ‘’sustained pressure for 3 periods’’ (sounds kinda gross) oh and also these positions called, ‘’throw the body around’’ and ‘’Get in front of the net’’…I never thought of the Mrs. private part as a net (no wait fill it up with…a forget it. But hell I’ll try anything. Ok well I have to head out to the Drug Store to renew my prescription of Viagra and pick up some Condoms. Condoms you ask? After 100 years together! Well yes i heard a rumour that the Mrs. might have an affair with some Russian guy for a few year here in Montreal. Apparently now he is living in Ottawa. Its supposed to be over between the two of them. Yes it seemed the Russian had the ability to make the Mrs. howl in pure delight on certain nights but would then go like 20 nights and not even be able to get it hard. Shame. Anyways I’m worried that while I’m over a the Casino in Lac Lemay (they have a lake in Ottawa?) wait Lemay isn’t even in Ottawa…I’m friggin confused…that the Mrs might scoot over to this Russians new place called ScotiaBank Centre or some friggin thing like that and take one for the team. If you know what I mean.

Alright well I’ll fill you in on my final decision about the divorce on Monday. Hope everyone has a good weekend. And hey! Hug (or bang) the one you love or you’ll end up like me and the Mrs.

Yours truly

Given it one last shot in Mtl.

DIVORCING THE HABS

2010-01-28T11:30:00.001-05:00

January 28, 2010

Dear Lawyers, (EDITED CLEANED UP VERSION)

I have this problem and someone recommended that i speak with a lawyer or four. Let me explain. I have been married to this wonderful partner for let see, well about 100 years give or take a few months. Over those years we have enjoyed numerous ups and downs. During certain years, maybe aroud 24, they were like winning the Stanley Cup. They were top of the world years baby. Then there were some other years mixed in there that had some highs and lows but as long as we weren’t living in Toronto I took it with a grain of salt. But you see the problem has gotten progressively worse. I would say the last 17 years have been pretty dry (wink) you know no Stanley Cup years for me and the Mrs. Most recently I have been realy struggling with the question of divorce. You see my wife and I have been going through this particularly tough patch. There doesn’ t seem to be any consistancy in our relationship. One day its good, the next few bad, followed by a few more good ones and then some bad ones again. You get what I mean? Anyways I’m really close to throwing in the towel.

The thing that pushed me to this point was last week we decided to do a little trip to NJ (yeah I know the asshole of the U.S. but pretty much as close as I’d gotten to one in a long time). HOLY CRAP man! The Mrs. put out like 3 times that night. I was spent. So the next day we decided to return home and seeing as the night before had been so incredible I decided we should maybe do a NY theme night at home. My wife loves NY and it is my second favorite city after Montreal. So I figured hell why not! HOLY MACREL! That night the Mrs. put out 6 times….YAH EH! 6 times. I felt like the bionic man (well maybe that was the viagra). Anyways. So we get to talking and were thinking hell our relationship might be taking a turn for the better so lets take a trip to Florida and see what happens. Well screw me. On Tuesday night in Miami I get only one go at the Mrs. and she goes right off to la la land like I wasn’t even there. I don’t get to discouraged though cause I know the next nights got to be better in Tampa. BUT F?&K ME I don’t get any! NOTHING! Not even a hand job. So now I’m really pissed and I think divorce is for sure the right way to go. No other options. I’m soooooo… friggin tired of this up and down roller coaster. But everyone tells me. GET A LAWYER….so what do you think guys any solutions.

OH P.S. My Mrs. has a father who is always grumpy, never smiles and makes some seriously questionable business transactions. She also has an Uncle who at every family get together is always talking about some system no one gets. OH and my Mrs. has two friends. One is a whale and totally not dependable. The other is from some eastern country and seems to be the stable one but the Mrs. can’t make up her damn mind which one is her best friend so things get confusing all the time. Oh and she has these guy friends (3 of them) who are all like 4 ft 2 and they can really be an unpredictable bunch but I hear one of them actually makes like 8 million a year at his job.

Hope you can help

Yours truly,

Desperate in MTL

SAME OLD SAME OLD

2010-01-27T13:33:00.012-05:00

OH BRETT!

Its January 20, 2007, its about minus 100 degrees at historical Lambeau Field. Its early into the first overtime. Green Bay and NY Giants are all tied up 20-20. Brett Farve has the ball he fades back and throws it......into the arms of Corey Webster of the NY Giants. The Giants take the ball back and out comes Giants kicker, Lawrence Tynes who then proceeds to kick a long field goal for the 23-20 overtime win and a trip to the Superbowl. A dejected Farve leaves the field still in search of a return to the big game. Twelve years have gone by as he has tried fruitlessly to make another Superbowl appearance. Fast forward to January 24, 2010 Farve and his team (now the Minnesota Vikings) are in New Orleans Saints end of the field its a tie game late in the 4th quarter. The team needs only 5 to 7 yards to put their place kicker back into position after receiving a too many men in the huddle penalty. Its third down. Farve rolls to his right running towards the side line (more like limping) he has the field wide open in front of him. All he has to to is wobble the 5 or 7 yards and do a classic I'm a pansy second base slide and out comes the kicker to do his job. But no! This is Brett Farve. The rejuvenated, reinvented Farve. The bionic Farve (we have the capability to build the worlds first and repeatingly retired quarterback. We can re-invent him, make him faster, make him stronger. We can teach him not to throw stupid passes at the most critical time in a game). Well almost right until that last one, because there he was running across the field on those bionic legs, looking 26 year old again, getting every fan in Minnesota wet and hard. Then he does it! He looks left, into the middle of the field and sees with those bionic eyes only what someone with bionic eyes could possibly see. He reels back that arm and he attempts a cross body pass right back into the middle of the field. What happens? Is it the story book ending for the 40 year old compulsive retiree you ask? Is he going back to the Superbowl to try and recapture another title 13 years later. AH NO! INTERCEPTION and the game ends in a tie. (what a let down after all of that) Ok so start overtime. New Orleans wins the coin toss (only in American sports could the possible outcome of the second most important game of the season be decided by a coin toss in sudden death overtime). They take possession, ramble down the field, set up a field goal and as they love to say in war, sports and love; THE REST IS HISTORY. Same old, same old.

There is no denying the Farve has been one of the most talented and illustrious Quarter backs in recent NFL history. His accomplishments abound and he has already punched a ticket to the Hall of Fame. This Farve however just can't get the idea its over when its over. Since his first coming out (no he isn't gay) of retirement to return to the NY Jets he has only help feed the fire of disappointment. No there is no denying that he lit a fire under this young upstart Vikings team and that they had a fantastic 2009-2010 run. The unfortunate part is Farve couldn't close the deal. You see that has been his problem for more then a decade. Once you close a deal you think for sure there are more to come. You convince yourself as time progresses that its just around the corner. Waiting for the right game, the right balance of offense and defence. With the right coach, the right receivers and a decent running game combined with his imaginary bionic body he convinces himself that it can be found. The deal can be done. That to redeem himself for more then a decade of lost deals that he can, he must find the big one. The dreams and stories of Disney are based on plot lines like Farve has built over the last 12 years. The unfortunate reality is a old man in a young mans game, searching for past glory only come to understand (well not in Farve's case) that the deal is going elsewhere; that the only difference between you and 32 other quarterbacks in the league is your age, diminishing talent and inability to close the deal. All bionics aside..

LES CANADIEN, LES CANADIEN

What to make out of this team suffering from some type of bi-polar disorder. I have no idea what to make of this team and its Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde personality. Every part of me wants this team to be the Dr.Jekyll. To be good, to be focused on achievement and winning. There is this small part of me however that wants them to be Mr. Hyde. I have been a Canadiens fan ever since i knew how to skate. My father and grandfather (and grandmother) were staunch Habs fans. I learned about hockey in a back yard rink built by my Dad and i dreamed of greatness sitting on the floor by the couch every Saturday night watching the Canadiens dominate. My youth took me from 1965 to 1983. My first eighteen years on earth were marked by 10 Stanley Cup Wins (3 which i don't remember) The first time i really started to appreciate what winning meant was in 1970-71. From that point on I grew up expecting and believing that the Cup belonged in one place and to one team only. I wrote off their failures from time to time as simple luck on the part of the other teams. I shrugged off and accepted that basically every 2 years the cup would come back home. Then came the NY Islanders with Bossy, Potvin, Smith and Trottier. Followed by the Edmonton Oilers and some guy named Gretzky.

The unfortunate reality is that after 1978-79 the cup didn't come around for another 6 years. I turned 21 that year (85-86) and watched the Habs win it against the Calgary Flames in a bar on the West Island surrounded by many of my old high school friends with whom i still hung around. The Cup went away again until 1993 a total of 7 years passed and many things changed. I watched them win the cup in my living room with my 16 month old Daughter sitting on my lap.

All during those times of drought, or between lapses i always believed the team was just adjusting, finding itself again, preparing itself for another run. Now in 2010 some 17 years since the Cup was paraded down Ste Catherines' Street. I have watched, as all fans have, as this team has seemingly squandered opportunities, ruined young draft choices. Has let slip out of their grasp players and coaches who later became stars elsewhere. We have watched as coaching changes (12 since 1984) have done nothing to help the team win. We watched in astonished bemusement as Tremblay, Cournoyer and Houle were named to lead the team. I remember on that day thinking that putting those 3 guys in charge was like putting Goofy, Micky and Donald Duck in charge of the Disney Corporation. Needless to say the Roy departure only added to the feeling i had. As everyone knows things have not improved from there.

So here we are knee deep in the back of the lab experiment being conducted by Dr. Gainey. Hopelessly trying to figure out exactly where were going with all of this. I am not a fan of Gainey the GM. Nor of the way the front office has turned this organization into nothing more then a glorified image of its past history. I think it really struck me how low this organization had become when Saku Koivu was allowed to leave this storied franchise without so much as an inkling of respect or recognition from Les Canadien. Yes i know Saku never brought a cup to Montreal and yes there was much to do about his lack of french..blah..blah..blah. The direction of this team has become so messed up as a result of past history, the media, us the fans and more importantly this belief that the organization belongs to Francophone Quebec. So whats going to happen? Your guess is as good as mine. The team has no Captain, no number one Goalie and a Coach who supposedly has a system but can't seem to get the players to play it. That unto itself requires no more elaboration. This team needs serious fixing. What really gets me going is this idea that making it to the playoffs some how will redeem the season, or past 17 seasons. That if we make the playoffs we just build on that and move forward into the 2010-2011 season. That makes no sense to me. The organization many of us love is broken and a mere playoff appearance isn't going to fix anything. I won't elaborate any further, the 100+ blogs and chat rooms have dealt enough with that. I will say however that this team isn't getting anywhere near the Cup again this year or for many to come. That my friends is what happens when you manage and operate based on the past and not the future.

Stay tuned friends for my upcoming Mens Olympic Hockey predictions.

TIGER TAILS

2009-12-15T18:10:00.003-05:00

For the sake of full disclosure let me start by stating that i am not a big fan of Tiger Woods. I never have been. I have been awe struck and fascinated at his incredible ability. I have watched dumbfounded at some of the shots he has made and the events he has won. But i never was a, ''Fan''. I didn't dislike him i just found him hard to like. I preferred to cheer on the underdogs and the guys you just wanted to do well but so often let us down on the course. I have also been the perpetrator of infidelity. I have cheated. That having been said, here is my 1 cent on the whole TIGER DRAMA.

Is what Tiger did a Bad thing? NO doubt about it. Is it self destructive? Yes it is. Does it cause unmeasurable collateral damage? Bigger then an ''A'' Bomb. Should he be ashamed of his conduct? Absolutely! Is it anyone's business what he did, (or ''who'' for what matter) or how he conducts his off the links life? NOT A CHANCE!!! Oh yes before you start pounding your PC keys with the regular '' he is a role model'', ''he has an obligation to his fans'', ''he is a public figure''. Just hold your fingers up in the air for a few seconds and contemplate the following;

Have you ever made a mistake? Done things your not particularly proud of nor want to share with even your closest friends and family? Do you have skeleton's in your closet? The answer to those questions is 100% YES. If you said NO your either delusional, a liar or the most boring person on the face of the earth. There in lies the issue. This story is not about his golf, his conduct in the field of play, his contribution to numerous charities, his community participation or anything to do about the athlete. Its about his life, a life not private simply due to the profession he chooses. The profession he has become the face of. A blogger at yahoo sport wrote in part this, ''But that just-golf-it mindset doesn't account for the fact that Woods is not "just a golfer," he's the public face of an entire corporation. What he does on his own time is not his own business, not when his actions can do financial harm to those who have invested hundreds of millions in his image. That financial impact, not the "more mistresses or more majors?" question, is the real story here''. BUT IN FACT THAT IS NOT THE REAL STORY HERE. That is how you fuel the fire but more importantly how you fuel the justification to continue to make an issue of someones private live and conduct.

What is currently going on in Woods and his families life isn't a game, its not a highlight reel. It's not to be dissected on Sports Centre or the sports sections of your favorite newspaper. What it is, is numerous peoples lives being dramatically changed forever. Tiger is as much responsible for his image as those in the media and the corporate sponsors who lined up to make him the face of THE TOUR, THE SPONSORS and the GAME. The talking heads and the media lapped up his every move, his every historical shot, his superhuman ability like dying men in a desert who just found water. It was ugly. The groping (used for effect here) over him was rather perverse. So before anyone claims that he alone claimed the title as, ''the face of Golf'' needs to know they are as much responsible for him being the face of golf as Tiger himself. Yet now as the face gets less attractive comes the holier then thou, ''we are good and you are bad'' shame on you Tiger, attacks at which the media is so well versed. The shark frenzy for blood and guts, sensationalism and pure absurdity.

Tiger Woods is and was the face of golf because everyone made him that. The haters as well as the die hard fans. I never saw Tiger contribute in any way to his fame off the course other then by simply being who he was on the golf course. It was his play, his ability to out smart his opponents, his ability to stay upright while those around him crumbled to their knees. His ability to make the shots that mortal men and golf pro's alike could only dream of. Tiger was often criticized for not being friendly enough, for being dull and monotone during interviews, for not opening up about his life, for coming across as condescending, for not being more personable. Yet you couldn't attack his game. Oh yes over the short 13 years he has dominated golf we have heard the talking heads in the booth with a micro phone tell us what is wrong with his swing, every broadcaster, ex pro or guy who once held a club had advice for Tiger and his game. They knew what he needed to fix and why. They spewed crap at an industrial rate and all the while Tiger went on winning. As he did, The Tour, The Players, The Sponsors, The Fans, and The Media went on riding the coat tails of his greatness.

Since this escapade has broken I have listened to fellow players take stabs at Woods now that he is down. Where they could not beat him or surpass him on the links they now try into the microphone and become simply another voice amongst the talking heads. I have listened to them deny or downplay his importance to the sport. I have wanted to vomit from second class players who rode the same coat tails as the sponsors, broadcast corporations and the media to record setting amounts of money. There is something very wrong with listening to a bunch of millionaires attack the one person who allowed them to become what they are today. You get to see the true spirit of a man when asked to comment on the life of another. You see their true colors at that moment. You see their insight into themselves and how each of them has or has not accepted that this moment in golf history is not about taking down a man but helping to rise him up. So many of them have failed. John Daly perhaps the most unlikely character given his own challenges said, "I'm not happy with the way some of our players have responded. I think that's their way of getting back, because they know they can't beat him at golf''. "I pray and hope they both get through it and if they ever need anything from me, both of them, I'll be happy to talk to them because I love them both. "He said he had tried to contact the fallen superstar. "I feel like if there's anybody in this world -- after what I've gone through, the ups and downs -- I might give him some advice," Daly said. "They always say there is nobody bigger than the game of golf, but right now in these times there is, and it's him." He seems to be one of the few players who has remotely a clue.

I have listened to the sponsors as they withdraw their support and how they candy coat their own tainted images at the expense of Tigers. It is sickening and distasteful and it smells bad. I believe that the true demonstration of greatness of an organization is not how it capitalizes on something that is good for it, but how it handles what might potentially be bad for it. How it recognizes and resists the pressure from the zealots. How it stands behind something that needs fixing. That is the true demonstration of a company i want to do business with. Not one that decides to abandon its face simply because it doesn't like the view in the mirror. When the new television deal is negotiated and new calls for sponsorship dollars are made by a Tour without Tiger we'll see just how much class these corporations really have. Don't hold your breath!

There is a true sadness to this story. It is about a woman, two children and countless other family members dramatically affected by a man's conduct. A family that in many ways will never ever be the same regardless of how Woods and his wife decide to proceed. This event, this indiscretion will forever be part of their fabric. The fact is they will move on from this, with dedication and commitment they can raise their children well and live good lives. You would think however by reading some aspects of the story as told by the talking heads that he had murdered people. No in effect he did not. He did what millions (notice i said millions not a few thousand) men have done in their lives. Cheat on there wife. It is shameful, and to underestimate its impact is to dismiss it out of hand as nothing more then men being men. That is a piss poor excuse. It shouldn't be downplayed or diminished it is what it is. A tragedy for all those involved. You get the sense however that this story has become far to great for the scope of the transgression. That there is some type of pornographic fascination with seeing him fall.

Someone once said, ''In the absence of truth their is only perception and perception becomes reality''. Let me ask a tough question though. Where are all the challenges to these women with whom Tiger cheated? Where is the criticism of them and their conduct, their characters? Where are the attacks? Is it a double standard?No..no..no lets not question them or their morals for sleeping with a married man. Lets not challenge them about who they are and how they conduct their lives. After all they are the victims here. Right? EXCUSE ME! There is one victim here and her name is Elin Nordegren. These other woman who took when the taking was good, who closed their eyes because the benefits (wink wink) far out weighed integrity, honesty, honor or respect. So now they come out and discuss the sordid details and share the intimacies, Its time for the truth now! WHAT? They go one TV with a rabid media only for the money because Mr. Woods wallet has dried up. The ''call girl agencies'' come forward now only because the attention and publicity can in some way replace the 25 to 60K he was rumored to have spent with them on any given weekend. It shows the level of integrity of these people and the agencies who took his dollars, protected his identity when things were good but immediately begin searching for new dollars by selling their stories now that he has gone. The disgusting part is we the public eat it up and ask no questions let alone the hard ones. These women, these agencies, are at every level and should be at every level, held equally responsible as Mr. Woods himself. Woods doesn't nor should he get a pass. Nor should these women.

The so called experts, those who have never met the man or his wife claim to know what is going on. What went on in their relationship. The talking heads tell you about how Tiger is a sex addict, how his wife should or should not leave him. About how his image is being affected. They talk about him as if they truly know the man. Those same talking heads tell us that he should come forward. That he should spill the story, the whole story. He should do that why? To appease our appetites for the little tidbits of their private life. To make us feel in the know, for damage control? I think the damage has been done and it truly matters not what else we could possibly find out. Its like saying the ship is sinking after being hit by a torpedo. It doesn't bloody well matter if the torpedo had lipstick on it and was dressed as a goat or whether 9 torpedo's hit. The ship is Frigging sinking people...AND THATS THAT!

There is a part of me that hopes that Woods goes away for 5 years. Sits on the sidelines as the Tour rallies and flounders to find the ''NEW FACE'' only to find that there was only ''ONE''. Sits by as TV ratings fall off, sponsorship dollars dry up. While the same pro's that attacked him stammer to explain the dropping attendance, rating and purses. Then i hope he returns with a belly like Craig Stadler, an Afro from the 1970's, wearing pants like John Daly is currently sporting; with a ting in his speech reminiscent of ''Huggy Bear'' from Starsky and Hutch and a stunning blonde Swede on his arm looking as beautiful as she does now. I hope he then dominates the field, destroys it and takes golf to new heights. I hope he then Beats Jack's major wins record and on that day steps up to the micro phone, looks out at the fans, the media, the Tour officials, the sponsors; shakes his head and simply says............NOTHING and walks away for good this time. Its what we all deserve for our double standards!

Robbie Hellstrom

* THE INEVITABILITY OF ACCEPTANCE

2009-04-19T09:17:00.001-04:00

Well friends i never like to be the one who says i told you so but i told you so. As the pain drags on those of you clinging to some glimmer of hope might as well take some Prozac and call me in late September. The simple fact is this team cannot play. Cannot play as a team and cannot play to the level of what playoff hockey demands. Yes yes i know were die-hard Habs fans and the pessimism is not welcome. There is a point however where reality needs to set in and its not at the end of the 5 games this series will last.

Last night was a prime example of how even when this team is provided with the slightest opportunity to send a message they pack their bags and go home. With less then 5 minutes remaining we have a 5 on 4 and we mustered how many shots? 2 yeah 2. There was no way this game was going to go anywhere regardless with just 5 left. However the Habs had a golden opportunity to dominate the last 5 minutes and at the very least score 1 if not 2 goals . What would this have accomplished? Well not much but something and when your being dominated something is better then nothing. There is also the aggression factor, while I'm all for the nonsense of sending Kovi and Koivu out with BJL there comes a time where hands are more valuable when hitting skin then they are on a stick. After pissy pants Milan Lucic decided to try and decapitate Lappy it was certainly a time if ever there was one for BJL to bite someones ear off. What did the genius of Gainey do? NOTHING. If were going to lose this series can we atleast do it it some kind of style, i know we don't have much class but a little style people is that to much to ask.

5 THINGS HEARD IN THE HABS DRESSING ROOM AFTER GAME 2

1. I though Komisarek poked Matt Hunwick’s eye out. Not his spleen.! If Komisarek ever gets traded I'm staying away from him he's like a voodo doctor.

2. Who is our enforcer again?

3. Do we actually have any Russians playing for us other then Kovi?

4. Where are you golfing this year?

5. Does anyone have that number for that truck driving school?

Game 3 Monday and more of the same!

Robbie

* ITS TROUBLE TIME

2009-04-17T14:07:00.000-04:00

If you took anything good out of last nights game it should be simply that the Canadiens played about the best possible hockey they are capable of. The sad part is that simply meant not getting blown out by the Bruins. The harsh reality of it all is if the Canadiens couldn't beat the Bruins last night don't look for them to do much better in the coming games.

The Bruins mounted very little in the form of offense and the canadiens defence played beyond itself in holding the Bruins. Goaltending was OK from $Sign$ (Price) but nothing in the way of spectacular. My feeling is his confidence has been so shaken by all the on and off ice nonsense that there is no way he is going to steal the games the Canadiens would desperately need him to steal if they were to make a serious run at this series. We have one high performing (that depends on which night) line and the other lines cannot and will not produce anything in the way of support. The Lapierre line which has been the hardest working and most effective does not have the ability nor does it play the role of offensive output.

Look for the Bruins to be way looser and you can be sure Julien had a little talk with his boys after game 1. You'll see a slightly different Bruins team on Saturday night and the old work horses of the Canadiens will quickly run out of steam. All for not still looks like the Bruins in 5.

Robbie

WHO DA THUNK IT!

2009-04-13T10:27:00.000-04:00

ANGEL AT AUGUSTA

Angel Cabrera who? Well unless your really a big golf fan or you remember back to the 2007 US Open then yes your surprised as anyone. He showed by simply playing consistent and by hanging around that anything is possible on the back nine at Augusta. How about that Tiger and lefty pairing? The once dreamed of pairing that everyone hoped would turn into the greatest rivalry in golf but simply never transpired. It sure was fun watching '' the what might have been'', but as usual Lefty just can't seem to take a gimme when its handed to him. Tiger showed he is regardless of his 9 month absence still the force and he will continue to have to be dealt with.

PLAYOFFS SET

Well the 2009 Playoffs will get underway in a few days and here are my predicitions for round 1.

Bruins in 5
Washington in 6
Devils in 6
Flyers in 7

Upsets; Perhaps the Flyers could be considered an upset

San Jose in 6
Detroit in 5
Chicago in 6
Blues in 7

Upsets; Blues taking it

WHATS UP WITH THE BIRDS

The Jays are off to one of their best starts ever, sorry to burst your bubble but don't look for it to last. The Angels paid a moving tribute to their fallen pitcher and then on Sunday wanted to perhaps take out a little of that anger by mixing it up at home plate with the Soxs. 4 Angels ejected from the game. Must be hard playing with that cloud of sadness and anger.

US WOMEN GOLDEN AGAIN

The United States won its second consecutive World Women’s Championship gold medal and its third in the nation’s history after defeating rival Canada, 4-1. Catilin Cahow scored twice in the golden win. The Canadians women's team will need to start concentrating on the tighter competition as it heads to Vancouver in 2010.

Robbie

HABS IN; DOOMED REGARDLESS!

2009-04-10T10:06:00.000-04:00

DREAM ON

This is as close as you'll get to seeing this hardware anytime soon. Yes there was almost a parade on St Catherine St. Last night. The Habs clinched a playoff birth by securing a point against the Bruins. Unfortunately for all the dreamers out there this will simply prolong the fantasy of a real parade come June. This team in its infinite wisdom and poor planning and management has ensured that the only sport after the end of April will be Golf. Dream on though we have the whole spring and summer to be entertained by how the sale and eventual restructuring (players) will go.

HOLY ON FIRE CAMPBELL

Chad Campbell takes the lead into second round after the best start in Masters history. He birdied the first five holes Thursday on his way to a 65. Don't look for him to repeat the success and look for a surge from some of the younger players i mentioned in an earlier blog. The green grass and flowers and everything that is Augusta sure got me thinking about summer though...ha it was snowing here yesterday and the low last night was minus 7.

TRAGIC LOSS

Hours after pitching his best game yet in the major leagues, Los Angeles Angels rookie Nick Adenhart was killed by a suspected drunk driver, leaving his teammates and fans stunned he won’t be around to fulfill the promise he had shown.

Adenhart’s father, Jim, a retired Secret Service agent, walked onto the field in the empty stadium Thursday and spent several moments alone on the pitcher’s mound. Wearing a red sweatshirt in the team’s color, he briefly covered his eyes with one hand.

Events like this show us all that sports is what it is SPORTS...life unfortunately is much bigger then it!

Robbie

10 IDIOTS & LAST CALL

2009-04-08T07:50:00.000-04:00

Its seems if rumours can be trusted (which as all of you know is a sure thing here in Montreal..HA!) there are 10 potential Purchasers for the Canadiens franchise and the Beaver Centre. The capital necessary to purchase the team is estimated to be 414 million Canadian dollars and will most likely sell for between 500 and 600 million. It seems some of those on the list could seriously be considered legitimate. , Guy Lalibert, founder of Cirque du Soleil, Quebecor’s, Les Productions Feeling (Celine Dion and Rene Angelil), Caisse de dépôt et placement and Jim Balsillie, the co-CEO of Research in Motion. In my mind these 5 represent the most intriguing and interesting purchasers. Lets take a look Them;

Guy Lalibert, founder of Cirque du Soleil, estimated net worth (US $1.5 billion) he has numerous entertainment and business contacts that would allow him the ability to find other sources of capital to assist in a purchase. I would look for him to potentially group up with other Quebec investors to make a run.

Quebecor the media and entertainment giant can most probably raise the necessary capital. It would have an interest in the team from a purely commercial standpoint and the potential spin off impacts it could have on it's other business units. Traditionally this type of company is more interested in a close to majority share position so look for it to twin up with another company such as Celine's to make a run

Les Productions Feeling (Celine Dion and Rene Angelil) 2007 net worth of Celine was estimated at (US $250million). The net value (what hasn't been gambled away by her husband) is most probably more then that with all components of their entertainment empire. Here also i see some type of joint partnership if they are to make a serious run.

Caisse de dépôt et placement. Regardless of their current difficult financial times (losses of 25 billion in 2008-09) they still have the ability to bring together the money necessary to purchase the team. hoever if one uses their average required return on investment the team probably doesn't make the grade. Look to the Caisse to perhaps put in money in some type of joint venture like the ones mentioned above.

Jim Balsillie, the co-CEO of Research in Motion (US $1.6billion) This one is the most interesting however. He has shown that he can raise the money for a purchase. The interesting thing though is he seems to want to bring a team closer to his headquarters and his home. Balsillie has made several attempts to buy an NHL team, including the Nashville Predators and Pittsburgh Penguins, raising speculation that he would then move it to the southern Ontario region.

Less interesting and more unlikely purchasers are; Stephen Bronfman of Claridge Investments Inc, Joey Saputo, (Montreal impact owner and saputo cheese giant), Spectrum Equity, Groupe Aldo and Serge Savard. One under the radar purchaser to keep an eye on is Roustan Capital, they are well connected in the world of sports as well as being a major investor with capacity to raise serious capital if required. There core market however is currently taking a beating from the down turn in the markets.

There is no doubt that the coming weeks will prove to be quite interesting and i can't wait to watch and listen to the media talking heads go on about this one.

RANGERS 3 CANADIENS 1

Well it seems the Canadiens are going to do everything they possibly can to avoid a trip to the playoffs or are potentially hoping to apply the same idea as the fat lazy slob who works beside you and tries to get everyone else to do his work for him. Last night Philadelphia helped in that regard. The sad thing is the Canadiens look bad...plain and simple bad...they look old and tired. it occurs to me as everyone scrambles to pray for a playoff birth that its quite fruitless. Is the goal just to make it into the post season to get knocked out in 4 or 5? Is it the belief that "anything" can happen in the playoffs? Understand one thing (well a couple of things). This team is out of ideas, out of talent and out of heart. Regardless of what happens nothing good is coming out of this season. NOTHING!

As i watch the media frenzy, talking heads, and rabid fans it seems it's like a cheering club of men at a local Bar motivating one of their buddies to get a particular woman (we"ll call her "playoffs") to go home with him. Everyone irks him on, critics, and offers support and suggestions. When finally he does get her to go home with him he ends up not being able to seal the deal, i.e. (her feet pinned behind her ears). This scenario is exactly what is playing out with this playoff run. If we make it in (not in her) were not going anywhere because "playoffs"doesn't want to give out and no matter how much positive or how much encouragement or self denial we apply it is what it is... its closed, with no chance of driving it home.

Enjoy your day...and oh yes Boston on Thursday..EEH... GAD

Robbie

OH CRAP!

2009-04-07T09:16:00.000-04:00

Well i was all on about this team actually having a chance (yeah i know like hell freezing over). I was even admitting that i might actually help fix the broken wheel on the bandwagon. It occurs to me however that i am just self delusional. I think its a case of applying perverted reverse psychology. Tell myself often enough and write it often enough that the Habs won't make the playoffs and they might actually make it. Well with three games left against the number one team in the east, the number 8 team in the east and the number 6 team. Things are not looking to positive. Maybe i should apply more psychology. Were down two crucial defencemen. Schneider it could be argued brings value primarily and only to the power play. Markov brings it all. Yes i know in the last playoffs he went missing in action like a soldier in Iraq's Republican Guard. Just the same he is an integral part of the team D and without him things are going to be tough. The offence was on fire against questionable defences but against Ottawa they has 21 shots. If the playoffs are in the horizon they could be shorter then a flight between Ottawa and Montreal.

We'll get to see Avery tonight and that always proves to be entertaining especially if he is on about sloppy seconds and chicken and fish. No doubt he'll be a factor tonight.

What the hell was Sid " he'll never be Gretzky" Crosby thinking about dropping the gloves. Yeah yeah yeah i know all about the, "he is the captain" crap; but he went after a guy for a clean check. What is up with that? Markov gets put out of the game on a questionable hit. Imagine the flying Finn Koivu dropping the gloves and going at it. Wait you actually have to have heart to do that...so good on you Sid.

The U.S. announced Ron Wilson as coach of the men's Olympic team. Ha! Double Ha! Well maybe he can instill that winning attitude into the Olympic team much like he has done for the Leafs. Well one less team to worry about in 2010. There won't be any miracles on ice in Vancouver.

The Masters gets underway on Thursday. Yeah i know...Tiger just won at Bayhill, but you know what? Put your money on someone else its not his tournament this year. Look for one of the new breeds on the tour to make a run. Harrington's putter isn't working, lefty is well lefty, Weir is a "no way", the Kiwi from Fiji might hang around a little, the crazy Spanish Ass (you pick one) but i mean Sergio is going to be like Lefty...and win a major in 5 years from now. Here are a few guys to watch; Trevor Immelman last years champion, Aaron Baddeley, Ben Curtis, Luke Donald, Sean O'Hair. Keep your eye on Geoff Ogilvy.

The UNC TAR HEELS power house does it again for the second time in 6 years for Roy Williams and the fifth National Championship. What can you say the school is clearly establishing itself as a march madness contender every year.

Major league Baseball (steroid free) yeah right. Got underway this year. As every other year look for the same old teams to be battling it out. Regardless we'll get over kill of the Rex Soxs and Yankees, the Mets, Cubs, Pirates, the Dodgers and Padres. What was it James Earl Jones said about baseball..oh yes, People will come, Ray.The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Ohhhhhhhh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.

Well people its baseball season again....if you pump it up with steroids it will fly..... over the wall!

LEAFS GONE. 4 TO GO

2009-04-05T14:53:00.000-04:00

OK so its starting to look allot like Christmas! Well not exactly but if your a Habs fan it might seem like that. Especially after beating those tight ass conservative Leafs. Anything is worth seeing that and especially now that they have Burke, ''that lucky charms'' Irish man. 3 wins in a row and heading for what looks like a birth in the playoffs. As those following on one of my two blogs knows i am certainly not impressed by this team. In fact I have not been for along time. Every year we go through the same nonsense. The team starts out strong. Everyone jumps on the band wagon. The talking head french media gets way past itself. The team slides backwards cause the talent we claim to have ultimately shows its true lack thereof. Then we get to hear those same French media talking heads spend the rest of the season trying to pick apart the team and blame any Englishmen in sight.

This season was somewhat different as no one seemed ready for the firing of Coach Carbonneau. Well now just 4 games left in the regular season and what 3 months ago seemed like a shoe in for a top 4 playoff spot has dwindled down to a fight for their playoff lives. Much has been made of the demise of this team, no more really needs to be said. My belief is a playoff spot is a sure thing as much as the subsequent first round exit at the hands of the Washington Capitals. With that will bring 6 months of bitching and moaning (not the good kind) Everyone will pipe in with their opinions and as you know opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. It will go on and on and on. Some of it will make sense most of it will be nonsense.

So instead of boring you with a bunch of nonsense about the next two weeks here are my suggestions to ''BOY'' George Gillette and Pierre ''invisible man'' Boivin and Bob ''french i am not'' Gainey.

Sell the team to Hamilton Ontario and then we can really start a Habs Leafs rivalry

Call the Country Club and ask them to shine your clubs and shoes cause you'll be golfing after April 15th.

Get rid of Koivu, Kovy, Money (Price), the Russian Mafia, and those other guys who's names i couldn't even pronounce let alone spell. (they know who they are).

Sell the charter plane and by 5 Winnebago's and transport the team around in those, that should fix any notion of ''spoiled athlete''.

Stop staying at the Hilton or Marriott and start staying at the Super 8 those hotels are generally near some run down strip joints so none of the players will have to worry about being recognized during that private booth lap dance. Also the Russian mafia doesn't hang out at those places there to low class.

Cancel the TV deal with RDS or at least demand that they change their announce and analyst team.

Buy all the TV time immediately after the game on all French networks and get rid off all those talking heads and replace them with 1 hour of the best Chris Nilan fights and the Nordiques and Habs battles of the 80's

Find a President who actually likes hockey and understands it.

Figure out that you actually have to spend money to build a team. In the off season and at the trade deadline.

Trade Youppi for a third round draft choice

Bring back those hottie commercial break ice shovelers.

These are just some suggestions. I'm open to others.

GO HABS GO! HA

Robbie

* LES GLORIEUX, THE DEPARTED and BOY GEORGE

2009-04-05T14:28:00.000-04:00

Les Glorieux are for sale, they might soon be departed and Boy George is heading out of town. Board up the windows everyone. Chain down everything that can be used as a projectile in a riot. Move your cars from Ste Catherine's Street to the west island, Shuttle Bus the street walkers to Laval. Shut down all the gas stations, call up the National Guard (wait we don't have a National Guard) ok, ok, call in the Surete de Quebec reinforcements from ST Louis de HA HA (they'll be here in 3 days).Whats going on? THE CANADIENS ARE FOR SALE! Oh my God!

People will be jumping from their office windows in the Place Ville Marie Tower. The girls at WANDA'S are applying for jobs in Fort McMurry. The analysts from RDS, 110% and Anti Chambre are already applying to TSN (Toronto Sports Network). Benoit Brunet is changing in those gay glasses for some contact lenses. Dave Morissette is applying to the WWE (the only job he might actually be qualified for).Michel Bergeron is checking with his Hollywood contacts to see what the chances of landing a part in ''LES BOYS'' Part whatever. Bertrand Raymond is considering going to work for the anti suicide hotline (business will pick up with the sale). Yes Folks its pandemonium in Montreal.

I am always slightly amused, perplexed, frightened, bewildered and down right fascinated when things go horribly wrong with ''Les Glorieux''. Nowhere in the northern hemisphere do people take a sport more seriously (alright there was some place in South America where they killed a soccer player for letting in a goal) but truly no where in the normal world (wait did i just say Montreal was normal).OK hang on, i'm all over the map with this article so far. Well quite fitting with the way the Canadiens have been for the last ?? years. Anyways friends are any of you really surprised to hear that the king of companies is looking to potentially sell his franchise. I mean we are talking about junk bond king Gillette, (Boy George) 1992 Chapter 11 champion. New majority owner of the Liverpool soccer team. The King of Ski hills. Did anyone really think this guy was serious about ''LES CANADIENS''

Oh yes, yes, there will be those of you who will start writing me to tell me all the wonderful things BOY GEORGE has done for hockey in Montreal. What a good businessman he is and how we were fortunate to have him as an owner. Well let me just tell those 4 people (his Kids) right off the bat; don't bother writing i won't publish your comments..i mean geez, common. Ah there i go again i regress. The truth is BOY GEORGE is a business man and any good chapter 11 champion will tell you he knows when to get out of Dodge..ER..Montreal. He sees the writing clearly now; failure, no playoffs and Russian mafia combined to break this camels back. The talking heads that are the quote, unquote gods of hockey in this town just didn't know when to shut the hell up.

To quote Dwayne ''The Rock'' Johnson, ''IT DOESN'T MATTER who you are''. The years have ticked off the scoreboard in this town. History can only hold you over, can only carry you for so long (unless of course your a Maple Leafs fan..in which case your just a sadist). The media here, the talking heads, the ex coaches, ex players have been so delusional for so long that they in some way convinced themselves that THEY were the Franchise. That it was them and not the actual owner who would decide the outcome of this team. OH, make no mistake, over the next few months these talking heads will talk even louder, as loud as they can to make sure that the French Canadian heritage is defended, they will demand french ownership, they will tell everyone how no American, or Englishman can actually appreciate the French suffering, they will BLAH BLAH BLAH us to death with it all. More coverage will be dedicated to this issue then the local poutine competition in Lac St Jean. The talking heads will completely ignore the true ownership history of this club (see my blog ''Canadiens the new Toronto Maple Leafs'' article for a refresher). These media pie-holes will do everything they can to influence the naive band wagon hoppers, the ''historyclingers'' and the sentimental swoons that their team is really their team and that they are rightfully entitled to some type of voice on the future of this team. If it wasn't all so funny it would be funny.

In my mind i would like nothing better then to see this team leave this town (my Dad just rolled over in his grave). Death threats will start to pour in. What i say here i say because it needs to be said, only if to make everyone appreciate what we truly have here. You see friends for way to long we have been lulled into a sense of entitlement. The talking heads have for way to long had many people here actually believing that this team does belong to us. It doesn't! The moments, the history, the accomplishments, the heart breaking lows, the breath stopping highs, those belong to us, but they don't give us ownership they give us memories. There unto itself is part of the biggest problem of this franchise and anyone who might even contemplate purchasing it. With any great success comes an even greater desire for greater success. In the case of the Canadiens history has become their greatest enemy.

Hockey isn't what it was in the 50's, 60's or 70's with expansion came profitability, came big business, came sponsorship and corporate boxes. Came ticket prices that excluded the core supporters of the sport; the father with his children enjoying and passing on the torch of their hero's. With the change came expectations of winning all the time or at the very least giving the impression of winning. The sport took a complete turn from what brought it to its heights. The reason rabid fans of Montreal truly believe they have ownership is because back then those players were part of the landscape, part of the fabric of the city. they were working class hero's on a pedestal so high that they could have shook hands with God. But the players back then understood their role, understood the great responsibility. Today the millionaire's and their agents go from free agency to free agency without the slightest regard for history or tradition. The Canadiens PR department has done a wonderful job over the decades at keeping the luster, the dream, the idea of what this team was supposed to be alive. Without them they would be just another team in just another town. Look at the 100th year celebration, the all star game, the throw back uniforms, the plaza garnished with bricks and statues. Its all about heritage but if anything its more about memories

Over the next few months everyone from the Premier to the Prime minster, to potentially the Pope himself will be forced to pipe in on the subject. Irked on by a rabid media that would not know how to go on if the Canadiens were to ever leave. Now many of you are saying forget it Rob, it will never happen; this team will never be allowed to leave this town. Maybe your right, but you know what? Money talks and bullsh..ah...this team doesn't play. There are simply not that many dollars ready to step forward to inherit this disaster (estimated to be worth approx $415 million including the Bell Centre). The risk is not what it used to be, the luster is not as polished, there are no banners hanging since 1993. This team has more negatives then positives. There is a reason Briere, Lecavalier, Sundin, etc, etc. don't play here. You also best believe that even in this depressed economy there is some business man in some town like Hamilton, Seattle, and believe it or not Winnipeg that would love to have a shot at owning the most storied sports franchise in North America. If i was a rabid fan I'd be checking real estate in some of the above mentioned towns cause the party no matter how enticing, entertaining and downright fun its been for the last 100 years might actually be ending. NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA NA...HEY HEY HEY...GOODBYE.

Robbie

* CANADIENS THE NEW TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

2009-04-05T14:24:00.001-04:00

* CANADIENS THE NEW TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

OH BOY! THE TOWN IS COMING UNRAVELED. THE EFFIGIES ARE BEING ERECTED FOR BURNING. CITIZENS ARE DEMANDING ACTION. CITY HALL IS READY TO GET INVOLVED. THE PROVINCIAL GOVERNMENT IS CONVENING A SPECIAL PARLIAMENTARY COMMITTEE. THE PRESS IS DEMANDING HEADS TO ROLL. What might you ask is happening, has the economy gotten that bad, is the health system deteriorated to the point where the government might fall, is the education system finally at the breaking point, is the government going Bankrupt. NO its nothing that minor, it's the Montreal Canadiens in 8th spot and poised to potentially miss the playoffs..my God stop the presses, shut down the town, run...hide your Tiny Tim Horton hockey playing children, lock up the wife...its chaos.

Listen i don't want to say i told you so but I TOLD YOU SO! In this city so preoccupied by its hockey that a guy would rather watch hockey on TV then go to a strip club and have Natasha bent over to show him her "assets", nothing less then success is demanded. But here is where it gets rather comical. We haven't had success in this town for over 16 years...let me repeat that 16 years. Oh yes i know this is the hockey Dynasty, the holy grail, the lost Ark of the National Hockey League. Wait hold the phone. Rush down to the old Forum (the Pepsi Forum...no wonder the ghost are pissed off) get the ghosts bring them to the Bell Center (Beaver Centre in more ways then one..wink) everything will be fine. AH NO!

This town has gotten to be as bad as the wind filled lungs of the conservative tight ass club also known as the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes i said it! Start sending me the hate mail. But for God sakes people lets take our collective heads out of our asses and start calling a spade a spade and not a shovel. This team has been nothing but a disaster for the longest time. Yes way past the time when we won 2 Stanley cups in 1986 and 1993. For so long the media and the rabid fans have convinced themselves and anyone needing a lift on a band wagon that this team was great. When in fact all actual evidence points to the complete opposite. You have to go back to 1978-79 season to see when the last time the Canadiens were truly the dynasty of old. The team which was so overwhelmingly better then everyone else that they rightly deserved the name dynasty and their true place in sports greatness. Since then 30 years ago (swallow collectively..yes 30 years ago) this team has been nothing more then a team amongst 30 some other teams battling it out with nothing but 2 Stanley cups to show for its efforts.

Every game night and any other night in between on TV we are bombarded with all these talking heads; from ex coaches and players of the Habs, to ex coaches and players of other teams to media types who never laced up their skates in anything other then a minor junior league continuing to feed us all these false expectations. The Montreal Canadiens franchise has become exactly like the Toronto Maple Leafs. It has no heart any more. In a town once dominated by a passion so strong for hockey that it was rumored that if a game was played Sunday morning at 10am the churches would be empty (in a society predominantly 70% catholic). This team that at one time was a team for the people by the people has become nothing more then a hollow shell of corporate America. The goal isn't to win and win only. The goal is to manage it, to maximize it, to play on the traditions of old, to lull us all into a sense of acceptance. The challenge isn't nor has it ever been to fill seats or sell corporate boxes, the history alone of this team has taken care of that. The goal now is simply to make it make sense financially and to manage it no different then any other business.

The Canadiens have become the classic example of over state, over promise, over expect and under deliver. Much of the problem lies in the hands of the media who sell enormous amounts of news paper, TV time and magazines filled with advertising space. Another part of the problem lies with the way the team is structured and the twisted history which French media types try and attach back to the French Canadian heritage. When in fact other then great players like Maurice "Rocket" Richard, Beliveau, Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, Jacques Plante, Lafleur, (and a bunch i left out) has nothing at all to do with the french Culture. It was originally supposed to be about french players and french ownership but that never really transpired.

Look back to the The Canadiens; they were founded by J. Ambrose O'Brien on December 4, 1909, as a charter member of the National Hockey Association, O'Brien was from Ontario. The team was then sold to George Washington Kendall (aka George Kennedy)a Quebecois of Irish-Scot dependency. On November 3, 1921, his widow sold the Canadiens hockey team for $11,000 to businessmen Joseph Cattarinich (Italian descent), Leo Dandurand and Louis A. Letourneau. Dandurand was the active partner during their tenure (Dandurand was born in Bourbonnais, Illinois. He moved to Canada with his family when he was 16 years old)(Cattarinich was known as "The Silent One" and Létourneau sold his stake in 1930)In 1935 a syndicate of local Montreal businessmen led by Maurice Forget and Ernest Savard stepped forward to buy the club .In 1957, brothers Tom and Hartland Molson, owners of the Molson brewery, purchased the team. The 1950s were by far the most successful decade for the Canadiens, and it is believed by many that the Habs of this era were the best team in NHL history. Between 1950-51 and 1955-56, the Canadiens made the finals every year, winning six times (including a record five straight between 1955-56 and 1959-60). The team's owner, the Molson brewery, decided to refocus on its core business and sell the Canadiens (the Molson Centre was subsequently also put up for sale). After being unable to entice any Canadian investors to make an offer,[27] Molson sold an 80.1% interest in the team and 100% of the Molson Centre to American investor George N. Gillett Jr. As you can see the whole French Canadien ownership is more likely ownership by default of the Fans and not by true French Canadians. In essence a false sense of proprietorship which is more tangible to the great french speaking players then it is to the Club itself.

So here we are today the 20th day of March 2009, Two weeks after the firing of the coach and into a dismal slide out of the playoffs and the talking heads are still talking as if the Dynasty still existed. IT DOESN'T. I remember back to the day when Houle, Tremblay and Cournoyer were named to lead the team. I remember saying that that decision was like putting, goofy, mini and mickey mouse in charge of the Disney Franchise. We've been through 5 coaches in the last 10 years. This team has become a joke. The leading scorer on the team is a defense man. We have two 20 goal scorer, a captain who has done nothing in the way of winning (minus his personal health and injury battles) A bunch of Russian mafia types (that's a play on the media hype that turned out to be nothing involving a few of the Russian players). We have an over hyped, over his head 21 year old goalie. And a bunch of other guys that nobody else in any town outside of Quebec could name.

The sad reality for everyone is nothing is going to change. This team might sneak in by a nose hair into the playoffs. Skate around and make the over hyped over expecting and dreaming fans happy. Get knocked out in the first round and then listen to the front office executives tell us about the optomism for next season. GIVE ME A BREAK. In the end this team is going nowhere near Lord Stanley's hardware anytime soon. So folks tune in to 110%, anti chambre or RDS blowhard analysts and talking heads, pick up the Gazette, the Journal de Montreal, La Presse so they can tell you every reason why the Canadiens can't win but you should keep on dreaming. Listen to the great debate about the next coach and how he has to be a Francophone or be able to speak french even though there are only 5 French players on the team. People get the golf bag out, shine the clubs and watch the silliness. GO LEAFS GO! (yeah there not making the playoffs either).

Robbie